“Then tell him. Give the man another date. Put yourself out there and try. You clearly want to.”
But how do I tell them it feels like I’m betraying Nick? It feels like I’m losing him. Like if I give a part of my life and possibly my heart to another man, to Holden, I will somehow forget Nick.
“You won’t forget him,” Allie says, as if she can read my thoughts. “You deserve companionship and happiness, sweetie. Nick would’ve wanted that too. He will always be a part of you, always. But you deserve love too.”
I nod, smiling and wiping away the tear sliding down my cheek.
“I think you’re ready and scared, but you should?—”
“Do it anyway!” they all say in unison.
I smile at them, and they do the same. God, I love them. I’m so lucky to have them all. “I love you all.”
“We love you too, babe. Now go call your man,” Cara replies, hanging up so I don’t have time to object.
I should text or call him or something, but I also don’t want to push it. I want to wait and maybe talk to Bella and see how she feels. I want to talk to him and make sure we’re on the same page, because I might be spiraling over nothing. He actually may not even be interested.
Dinner goes by quickly.Mac and cheese and chicken tenders, Bella’s request, and now, we’re sitting watching a movie together. Vero’s asleep, but I’m letting Bella stay home tomorrow, so when she requested we watch a movie, my only answer was yes. We’re on round three of romantic comedies, watching ‘Just Like Heaven’ now.
“Do you remember when I told you the other day that it would be okay if you dated?” Bella asks, smacking the giant elephant in the room on the head.
“Mm, yeah.” I turn to look at her, but her eyes are glued to the TV while she’s covered in a giant puffy blanket.
“I meant every word. You deserve to find someone who loves you, Mom.”
I smile even if she can see me. I hope she can hear it in my voice. “Thanks, sweetie. I appreciate it, but today was not a date. We were having breakfast together, like friends do, you know?”
This time, she turns my way. “Sounds like a date to me.”
I let out a breath. “Honestly? I’m not sure.”
“I figured.”
“Uh, explain.”
“You’re pretty clueless sometimes when it comes to stuff like that.”
“Bella!”
“It’s true! Remember that time we were visiting Tata and Pops, and the guy at their winery was talking to you for like three hours?”
I remember that day vividly. He asked me so many questions about the history of the place and the wine, and I got to geek out about all the things I love about my parents’ work. What was his name? It was something like a Disney prince name, but that’s not important right now. “Yes, actually, I do remember.”
“He literally asked you for your number, and you gave him the winery’s.”
“Mm, yeah. He had so many questions about it.”
“He wasn’t interested in the wine, Mom.”
“Oh, really? How do you know? He seemed pretty interested, if you ask me.”
She shakes her head. “See? Clueless. The guy drank water the entire time. He wanted to hearyoutalk about it. He was interested inyou.Poor guy probably called later, just to find Tata answering instead.”
I don’t think so. He asked so many questions about the place, and yes, I had a blast answering them for him too.
“Anyway. Long story short, Mom. If you want to date, go for it.”
I open my mouth to speak, but don’t say anything. She goes back to watching her movie, rendering me speechless over here.
