“What?” Daisy sits up. “You’re seeing someone?”
“I’m not seeing anyone.”
Aspen sings, “He’s got a giiiiiiirllfriend.”
“I do not have a girlfriend!”
Daisy folds her arms. “Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
I sigh. I went from nerdy high school kid with glasses to suddenly growing into my body in my senior year. Then, I played hockey through college and in the NHL. And during that whole time, I was…well, busy trying to stay on the damn team. And then my whole family died.
I shake my head.
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?” Lucas asks.
“Have you ever seen me with a girlfriend?” I shoot back.
“I mean, no,” he says. “But I met you after you already became all grumpy and shit.”
“I’m not grumpy.” I point to Liam. “Nope. That over there? Grumpy as hell.”
“Even he,” Aspen adds, gesturing to Liam, “had a wife.”
Liam groans. The living room glows with soft amber light, like a bubble in the dark night. Toys are scattered like tiny landmines across the carpet. A half-built block tower leans drunkenly near the coffee table. The air smells faintly of vanilla candles and leftover dinner and family.
The family we’ve built. They deserve for me to be honest.
“I don’t have a girlfriend right now,” I say quietly, sinking into the couch cushion that dips too low, thinking about Natalie. I wouldn’t call her a girlfriend or anything like that, but I am spending a lot of time with her, and I like it. I like her, and it’s been a while since I liked spending this much time with anyone.
Across from me, the baby lets out one of those trembling half-cries—small sounds that come from deep in her chest as Aspen rocks her little body back and forth. Her fists open and close like she’s trying to grab hold of something.
“It’s okay,” Daisy murmurs gently. “I can take her.”
“Don’t take my baby away from me,” Aspen replies. “Let me hold her. It’s fine.”
“You were saying?” Liam asks with his knowing smile.
I try to say something, but this time, Calla wails. So she also doesn’t want me to say anything. Good Calla girl, saving me from the interrogation.
“Just give her to me. I’ll give her back after I feed her.” Daisy moves, and I take it as an opportunity to get up and go to Oliver.
“Do you have any idea what they’re worried about?”
A sigh drifts from Oliver’s mouth. “There are a few things.”
“Stuff we can work on,” I add. “As soon as you know more, the center can help once she’s ready. And Julia—she’ll talk to you when the time’s right.”
“We’re not there yet.”
“But we’ll get there,” Lucas adds.
“She’s struggling so much. She’s so little. All she wants is to do well in school. But even that is hard. She tries so hard, and she still…she’s drowning. It’s not fair.”
The dim light shimmers on the framed photos lining the bookshelf—faces caught in happier moments, but the one that catches my attention is the one of Sol, Stella’s mom, smiling so bright at her baby shower. Oliver follows my gaze.
“I know, buddy.”
“I know you do,” he adds, looking my way, a silent understanding of knowing loss like ours. Not his parents but mine, not my spouse but his.
