“I think so too.”
He reaches over and slides a strand behind my ear. “It suits you.”
His dark amber eyes are locked on mine, engulfing me in this space and time and rendering me breathless. The world certainly stopped, right? Because all I can see is him, all I hear is the loud beating of my heart threatening to rip out of my chest.
He searches for permission. I shake my head, break the spell, and stand abruptly. “I better go. It’s getting late.”
He sighs, following. I don’t want to make this awkward, so I ask, “What’syourfavorite color?”
“Burnt orange,” he states, pointing at the sky. “Like Florida sunsets.”
“So other than eating bubble gum ice cream, loving orange, driving and living in Magnolia Springs, and working with animals, what else is there to know about Holden?”
He shrugs. “Not much. I love my friends; they’re the only family I have. I love sports?—”
“Oh, which sports?” Natalie, he already told you he played hockey. Why can’t you keep a coherent thought going? I’m so tired; it must be that.
He chuckles, deep, rough, all encompassing. “All of them? I told you I played hockey for a bit, but I also love mountain biking, rock climbing, scuba diving, and, even though I’ve never played, three of my close friends play baseball, so I enjoy that too. What about you?”
“As a proper southern belle, I love football. Can’t say I’ve ever watched a hockey game, but my oldest has been interested in it lately. She has a game coming soon.” We cross the street, leaving the park behind, getting closer to our vehicles. “So maybe I should start learning about it.”
He stays quiet, walking beside me but a tad behind, close enough that it’s obvious we’re walking together and for me to be able to smell his smokey scent. “I’m happy to teach you,” he murmurs, keeping enough distance, letting me keep my bubble, keep my space.
“This is me.” I smile, my back resting on my van’s door as I peer up at him. “Thank you for today. I had a good time. And for fixing so many little things.”
“I did too. I, um, would it be weird if I stopped by tomorrow after the hospital?”
“Nuh-uh. I’m expecting it now.”
I open the door, my hand behind my back, slowly sliding to the side and tossing my purse inside my messy van. I hold the door between us, adding a necessary barrier so I don’taccidentally fall into his arms and give him a hug for his understanding and kindness.
“Okay, good.” He leans against the door frame, letting me slide into my seat. He shuts the door and waves goodbye.
I roll the window down. “Good night, Holden.”
“Good night, Natalie. Text me when you get home, please?”
I nod and silently drive away with a smile I haven’t had on my face in a while.
15
YOU’RE LYING
My Tears Are Becoming Again by M83
Holden
I’m backin this stale room with Jerry, like I promised. He’s kept his end of the deal and has not missed a session, according to his doctors, so here I am. I don’t know if it’s talking about Mom and Liz and Natalie sharing about her husband that has me wanting to believe in second chances, but I’m here, watching him sleep. He hasn’t opened his eyes since I arrived thirty minutes ago, so I’m working on the annual fundraiser Healing Pals hosts. The preparations are in full force for our largest fundraising of the year, keeping me busy.
Jerry coughs, stirring in his seat, shaking himself awake. “Holden,” he whispers when his eyes meet mine. Eyes that mirror mine. I hated that I didn’t have Mom’s blue eyes most of my life. Nobody wants to see their eyes and remember the man who failed them over and over again.
“Hi.” If I’m going to give him a second chance, I have to try. My therapist and I decided I don’t have to forgive and forget, butit might be beneficial to both our healing hearts to try to forgive, even if we don’t develop a relationship.
“You came back.”
“I told you I would.” I shut my laptop and slide it in my bag, giving him my full attention, just like I wished I would've gotten from him all my life. “I’m ready to listen, but I don’t know if I want to harp on all the ways you went wrong. I think we both know how.”
He nods in agreement.
