Holden
“You sure knowhow to make a man feel special,” I tell the most beautiful girl in the world, who’s currently sitting next to me.
“Me? I just got a little dressed up, that’s all. The last few times you’ve seen me, I’ve been wearing house clothes, and it’s a stark contrast to the way I look right now. I’m not the one who showed up with a limo.”
Doesn’t she know she’s perfect, whatever she’s wearing? That it has nothing to do with the amazing dress clinging to her body and everything to do with her?
“Natalie, it has nothing to do with the dress and everything to do with the fact that you’re here. And the limo is just better, so we can have quiet time to talk before we get there.”
She doesn’t reply immediately, but I can tell she’s cooking something in her brain until she says, “I almost didn’t come.”
“Because you were done with me?” I ask, cutting to the point and seeing if I hit the nail on the head.
“No. Because I was scared.”
“I figured.”
“But then you showed up at my house anyway,” she replies.
I nod. “I wasn’t leaving without a fight. Patient, remember?”
“Holden, you’re so good, and life has dealt you so many bad cards.”
I hit my chest. “Ouch.”
“You know what I mean. Or maybe you don’t. Let me explain.” She lets her nerves out on a breath. “You’ve had so many hardships in life, and I didn’t want to be one more.”
“You are definitely not a hardship. You are more than your circumstances.”
“I know that now. I know that although loving me and all the things I bring to the table might not be easy, it doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of it. It doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of love.” She sucks in a breath, letting it fill her lungs, giving her the courage I’m sure she needs to have this conversation without ruining her makeup. “Of your love.”
I offer my hand, taking hers, resting them both on her thigh. “You are so worthy of love, and loving you is not hard at all. Pretty simple, actually, since it took me all of two seconds to figure out I wanted to be near you every day. You. Your kids. Nick. All of you.” I kiss the back of her hand. “I know your heart belonged to Nick for a very long time. I know that. I’m not expecting you to erase him, and I don’t want you to ever try. I just want you to let me in, even if it’s beside him.”
“And you’d be okay with that?”
“I’d be honored.”
She draws her lower lip between her teeth. “I don’t know that I can make any permanent decisions right now, with anything.”
“And I don’t want you to.”
“We live in different cities.”
“It hasn’t been a problem, right?” I add with a smile so she can know it truly isn’t.
“I don’t want you to be with me because you feel like you need to save me or give me a happily ever after.” Her voice is laced with fear.
“I would never, Beauty. I don’t think that’s true at all. You don’t need anyone to save you; you did that yourself. I just want to share this life with you. I want to love you for as long as you’ll let me, but there’s no rush to decide on anything other than to take a chance on love. On us.”
“You really mean it, right? All these scenarios I’ve built in my head, full of fears, are all irrational, and you never felt like that, huh?”
“They might be irrational, but they’re still very real to you. Thank you for trusting me with them.”
“I’m sorry, again. I know I’ve been more back and forth than a yo-yo lately, but I appreciate you giving me space to think things through, letting me explain. I’m sorry I kept pushing you away. That’s something I’m going to work on.”
“We all have things to work on. Just talk to me, okay? Your voice is my favorite sound.”
The hotel is far in the distance, but I want to ask her one more thing before we get there, and I hope she is honest and uses this moment to share a little bit of her heart. “Do you want to do that? Take a chance on us?”
