I mean, I have money too, but Natalie would never take it. That’s not the question here, though. Why is this man trying to give money to a practical stranger? “Are you trying to give her money so she’ll give you a kidney?”
He chuckles as if I’m telling a joke.
“That was a serious question.”
“No. That would make me a shitty person, right?” At least we agree on something. “Because anyone who makes you happy is someone deserving in my book. She’s the woman you love, right?”
I furrow my brow. We’ve talked about her briefly, but nothing major, and definitely nothing was said about me loving her.
“I could see it in your eyes, son. The way you were looking at her yesterday…it’s the way I used to look at your mother before liquor.”
“How?”
“Like she not only hung the moon and the stars, but like she’s the sun you orbit, the moon that moves your tides, and every shooting star personified. She’s your universe, isn’t she?”
Well, that’s a way to put it. I’m kicking myself for not coming up with the words to describe it sooner. She is my universe. All three of them are, so I nod, letting him know he’s spot on.
“So it’s easy. She needs it and deserves it, and I have it.”
“She’d never take it.” I know how much she struggles with non-monetary help, or even jewelry, let alone money to pay for things, from me or from him.
“We’ll figure something out. Let me know how I can help.” He exhales. “I want to help her. I don’t know if you know, but that location, where her shop is, holds more ghosts than you could ever imagine.” He pats my shoulder. “We can talk about that another time. Now go; she was pretty sad, and I bet shecould use a shoulder to cry on. There’s so much sorrow behind her eyes.”
Got it. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Ah, before you go.” His words stop me in my tracks. “Thank you for calling me yesterday. I know I’ve never been front and center in your mind, that I’ve never been reliable, but it meant everything that you trusted me with this. I won’t let you down.”
“I know.” I mean it too. His progress and efforts to improve are obvious. I see hope in his eyes again. “See you around?”
“See you soon, son. Call me if you figure out how I can help your, um, friend. You know where to find me.”
51
THIS AIN’T A FAIRYTALE
Someone To Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic (Cont.) • Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift
Natalie
What amI going to do? When people tell you to prepare for the worst but hope for the best, it generally means hypothetical things, not completely eviscerating your income because you didn’t think to add Business Interruption Insurance. What am I going to do?
The store is full of workers ripping out the flooring and ceiling, and I’m in the one spot without water damage: the office. Memories of Holden invade me as I look at the table where he made me forget about everything and feel good in the process.
Holden, whom I pushed away because there’s too much going on right now. There are too many strings that connect us, some broken, some intact, but too many can get tangled…and I don’t have time to undo them.
How did I get here?
Speaking of the devil. “Knock, knock,” he says.
“Hey,” I greet—a wispy sound getting lost in the chaos that is my life right now.
“Sorry, I’m late. I overslept.”
“I told you I was going to be here. There was no reason for you to come. I know you have the gala next weekend. I’m sure you’re busy.”
“Isn’t it obvious there’s nothing more important than you in my life, Beauty?” He takes a step forward, and I take two back, raising my hand to my neck to hold the necklace I put on again for the first time in weeks.
Holden’s gaze drops to it, narrowing his eyes, trying to figure it out, and when he does, pain hits him, the same it does me. Wearing this necklace again was a conscious decision. I miss him today more than ever—his angel-versary is next week. But all of this is too much. I’m so tired.
