“Holden,” Natalie whispers, pulling my eyes to her.
“Can I tell her? Please?” I don’t want to say I love Natalie or anything like that. I won’t say anything I already said, but it’s important for Bella to know I’m serious. And even if it won’t be a forever thing, which I kind of hope it will be, I want her to know I’m all in right now.
Natalie gives me permission without uttering a word.
“Like I was saying. I really like your mom. I think she’s incredible. She’s a good friend and I like spending time with her.”
Bella nods. “She’s pretty badass, right?”
Natalie grunts.
“Sorry,” Bella whispers.
“She is,” I reply.
“Are you two dating?” At Bella’s question, my eyes meet Natalie’s, and with them crinkling at the corner as she dips her face, I get the confirmation I was looking for.
“Your mom and I are dating, yes, but we’re taking things slow, okay? I don’t want you to think I’m coming in and changing anything. I respect her and you two as well. I want to get to know all of you better, let you get to know me too.”
“Cool, cool. Do you have kids?” She fires back, letting me know she has questions and she needs answers. I’m happy to provide them.
I shake my head. “Nope. But I like kids.”
She smiles. “You’re good with kids, which gives you points.”
Natalie gasps. “What points?”
“That’s for me to worry about, Mom.”
This girl. It brings a smile to my face to see them interact but also to see how comfortable they are with each other. Bella is such a great kid. I’m honored I get to spend time with her.
“Do you know about my dad?” Bella asks. I was not expecting this line of questioning to go here so fast, but now that we are, there’s no turning back.
I nod. “And I’m very sorry.”
“Most people are unless they’re sociopaths.”
“Bella, that’s enough,” Natalie scolds.
“It’s okay. I promise.” I squeeze her hand gently under the table, careful so Bella doesn’t notice. There’s nothing wrong about it, but I don’t want to put more strain on this moment.
“I know about your dad passing, and I am truly sorry. I lost two people very important to me too, and although it’s not the same and I could never understand exactly what you all went through, I’m no stranger to loss and grief. I understand that part. I’m not trying to take his spot or anything like that. I know he’s irreplaceable.” A breath escapes me as Bella tilts her head. “I want you to be comfortable to speak as much or as little as you want about him at any given time.”
She swallows hard. “Who did you lose?”
“My mom and my sister.”
“Oh.” She studies me, searching for what I think is the right thing to say, but knowing there’s nothing we can do, she asks, “It sucks, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
The server comes with a giant pizza, places it on the table, and asks the typical questions. I let them do their thing and just observe. They move in synchrony, grabbing slices, cuttingpieces, some for Vero, some for Bella, and Natalie even puts a piece on her plate. They do it automatically, and I’m here, taking it all in.
The pizza is half pepperoni, half white, bringing me back to memories of my family. Goosebumps spread all over my skin; this is the exact combo we used to order. It’s almost as if this simple thing, the ingredients on a pizza, were sent right from Mom and Liz to my heart. As if they also approve of this moment.
“My mom used to love white pizza.”
Natalie blinks rapidly, and Bella narrows her eyes. “It was my dad’s favorite too. We actually don’t love it, but we still eat it in his honor.”
