He shakes his head. “No, no, that’s a fair question.”
“You don’t owe me an answer, though.”
He considers me, tilting his head and rubbing his chin. “C’mere.” He double-taps the spot next to him on the couch. It’sten minutes to closing, so I can relax and sit by him, but not until I flip the sign to ‘closed’ to give us some privacy.
“Natalie…”
“Holden.” I smile.
“It was a date, yeah?”
So he is changing the topic. Got it.
Perfect, actually. Did it have to be this, though? I knew we had to talk about it, that the moment would come, but I was hoping we could ignore it for a while longer, because what was I thinking?
Oh I know. I was thinking about how much I like him and how much I do like to spend time with him. But is that enough? He’s him, and I’m, well…me.
“Beauty?” he asks, pulling a smile from me. The corniest nickname, but I love it.
“Yes.” I clear my throat. “It was a date.”
“Which means we’re dating, yeah?”
“That’s how it usually goes, yes.” Or I think? I don’t know. It’s been so long. I don’t know how this works. Not really.
“And when you date someone, you are intending to get to know them, right?”
I nod, bouncing his words around in my brain. Then, it clicks what he’s doing. He can tell I figured it out, too, with his big, bright smile that can illuminate the whole room.
“So I might notoweyou an answer, but you have the right to know. I want to know you, and I want you to feel comfortable asking questions and getting to know me. At some point, I would like for you to meet them.”
I open my mouth to say I’m not ready, that my life is so chaotic and there’s so much at stake, and meeting friends and family feels like a big step, and I don't know if I can do big steps right now, but he continues, as if he can read the hesitation in my eyes.
“Not now nor tomorrow. I know this is new.” He smiles. “You can ask me to be patient, Beauty. I won’t run away.”
I nod, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth. He reaches over and pulls it free, getting impossibly close to me, and his woody, musky scent caresses my cheeks.
“Ask me.”
“What?” I whisper.
“Whatever you want, really, but ask me to be patient.” He’s so close, and he’s clouding all my thoughts, because all I can think about is the way his lips felt on mine the other day. All I can think about is how I want him more than anything, but?—
“We can take this at your pace,” he interrupts my spiral.
“I can’t ask you to do that. You’re young and hot and kind and smart and funny, and I, well, I’m a mom of two, a widow running a business, and my house… It’s a big mess here, and you, I think you deserve easy and fun and young and hot, and I’m not any of those things.”
“I’m thirty-six,” he mentions nonchalantly. “I’m pretty sure you’re younger than me, right?”
“Right, but?—”
“And you are fun. Remember the whole dancing thing? I also enjoy spending time with you, which is fun in my eyes. And your girls? I adore Izzy—well, Bella. We need to come up with an agreement on what she wants to be called.”
“Izzy or Bella is fine for me. We can ask her.”
“And I’m sure Vero is amazing too, because you’re the one raising her. I really liked it when she called me Holen.”
“Holden.”
