And even if, miracle of miracles, we found some hole to crawl into, how long before the Humans sniffed us out and finished the job?
The realization is like a punch to the chest. I want to fold in half. Break down. Cry big, ugly tears until there's nothing left.
But I don’t. I lock my knees, and I swallow the grief burning my throat, because I can acknowledge the truth now. They’re safer without me.
Wherever Dazz, Ember, and Flicker are... they're better off under the protection of Stone’s soldiers than tangled up in my disaster.
And me?
My place is here.
With Scorch Squad.
Learning to be the monster the General needs me to be.
Learning to survive long enough to make it count.
As long as the General can prove they're safe and alive, it'll have to be enough.
Ithasto be enough.
I hate how much itisenough.
Hate the gross, guilty relief that floods through me, unclenching this awful knot I’ve been dragging around for months.
I can lay down my burden.
Instead, what I must do is prepare.
War is coming. I need to get stronger and grow my powers.
Not just so I can protect my Omegas, buteveryone.
I glance back at the old Alpha behind the desk and feel the heat rise in my face at the smug little twitch in his lips, like heknewI’d land here all along.
I want to spit in his face.
I want to scream.
I don’t.
Instead, I nod once.
I might hate the game, but I’m not too stupid to know when I’m holding the only hand left to play.
I used to think hope was this gentle, ethereal thing held together by whispers and dreams. I know now that it’s not. Hope is an Omega with blood on her hands, and fear in her heart, making deals with corrupt old men. It’s doing what’s right evenwhen it feels wrong. It’s pulling herself out of the mud, patching up a bullet hole, and having another go.
“I’ll stay," I spit, “One month. If you don’t give me proof of life by then... I disappear. Your precious experiment will fail without me.”
There.
That’s my ultimatum. I have no clue whether I will actually follow through on my threats. It feels like I can barely predict my own emotions at the moment, but if I have to play his game, then he has to play mine too. Let him feel the strain of dangling on someone else puppet strings.
He tries to protest. “It’ll take longer than that to find them—”
“One month, General. Or I walk. That’s the deal.”
I spin on my heel and wrench the thick wooden door open. I don’t let myself acknowledge the four soldiers waiting outside. There is no doubt that they heard the entire exchange with their enhanced hearing.
