I lean against the stone railing and admire the view. It's bitterly cold, but the sky is clear today. Snow covers the mountains, and the morning sunlight reflects off the white peaks, making them glow.
Shade leans on the wall beside me, looking out at the scenery. "Tell me what's wrong. Please, baby girl. Let us fix it."
I inhale through my nose and close my eyes, fighting back the tears. “I don’t know… uh, I’m so tired of questioning this.”
“This?”
I scrub a hand over my face. I feel silly voicing my self-doubt when there are bigger threats in our world. Our country is being invaded for rut sake.
“I have my brothers to confide in, but who do you talk to?”
If only things could slow down.
We spent so much time dancing around each other in the training camp until I was cross-eyed with sexual frustration, and now, it’s happening at breakneck speed.
“I have Everlyn, but she’s a Beta and doesn’t really get it, you know? I miss my Omegas,” I say, looking out over the landscape below. Today’s clear skies allow a full appreciation of the Blackreach Province’s vast expanse. Rivers, forests, and plains stretch out before me like a rolling tapestry as far as the eye can see. Somewhere out in that wilderness are my loved ones. Three Omegas fending for themselves.
If I believe the General, they’re protected by soldiers loyal to him, but there is no guarantee they’re being treated well. I try not to linger on the endless, nightmarish possibilities. Images of them lost, injured, or worse, forcibly mated, flash through my mind, each scenario a fresh wave of dread.
Anxiety roils in my belly, fueling the dark cloud of doubt that overshadows me.
“You can talk to me if you want,” Shade knocks his shoulder into mine, smiling at me with an open expression. “Like you did back in the forest when you pretended I was your friend Dazz. I thought I did a pretty good job being a sassy Omega.”
I smile, unable to resist his charm.
My pheromones are making it difficult to think clearly. It might help to talk about it with someone. If I were traditionally mated, my Alpha would be my confidant. That’s what a partnership is, right? I don’t have much experience in the matter of romantic relationships, and being in a Pack makes it complicated, but I guess the principle is the same. Shade is my mate, or he will be, and I need to learn to share with him.
I inhale, fortifying myself.
“I think... I'm not sure Knox wants me to be his Omega anymore."
Shade snorts and shoots me a disbelieving expression.
I pull back and fold my arms defensively. That wasn’t the reaction I wanted.
Shade releases a long-suffering sigh. “Baby girl, that Alpha has pined after you from the moment you arrived and disobeyed his orders. Youknowthat.”
"Then why didn't he..." I trail off, suddenly feeling silly, like a little girl whining that another child wouldn't play with her. “He rejected me.”
My hair whips in the icy wind, and I shiver in the cold. Shade pulls me back into his warm embrace and runs a hand over my wild hair to tame it. His touch immediately injects a wash of calming energy into my veins. His voice is exasperated as he speaks, but I hear the affection in his tone.
"Because he wasn’t who you needed at that moment and he knew he couldn’t make you feel safe and cherished. Knox isn't the type of Alpha who can physically be soft and gentle. He doesn’t know how and not knowing frightens him."
I chew on his words, thinking them over. What Shade said makes sense, but it's not enough to convince me entirely.
"You're sure it’s not because of something I’ve done?" I ask, my voice small and uncertain.
“Stop it.” Shade flicks the end of my nose.
“Ow!”
“You’re overthinking.”
“But—”
“He’s told you he wants you. Blatantly, loudly, and more than a few times.”
I bite my inner cheek and pout.
