And Ember… Ember won’t go quietly. She’ll fight even if it gets her killed, just to prove a point.
"I feel lost without them," I admit.
Guilt tears at my insides because, truthfully, I don't know who I am referring to. My fellow rejected misfit Omegas, or the squad of soldiers I abandoned.
"I know you do," she says sadly, and I'm thankful she doesn't pry further.
"Come on, get dressed, and let’s have some breakfast."
I sigh and nod.
My stomach still churns from the nightmare, but if I don’t consume something, Everlyn will tell Jason, and then he’ll pester me like an annoying brother until I eat.
I change into my black thermal top and gray overalls. The outfit is plain and dull, but I like how the pants have multiple pockets to hold things in. Also, it doesn't remind me of the uniform Knox made for me. I’ve kept that bundled up in the bottom of my bag like a dirty little secret.
I shrug on the bulky coat and wrap the threadbare scarf around my neck and up over my head. The moment I step out into the courtyard, my breath catches. An icy wind blows off the snow-capped mountains and whips through the stone fortress, stinging my exposed hands and face.
Blackgate Fortress, perched high in the mountains, watches over Blackreach Province’s sole entrance like a wraith. The pass I never worked up the courage to cross.
I tuck my palms under my armpits and scurry to the mess hall behind Everlyn. The moment we enter, the roar from the wind dulls and the soft warmth from the open fireplaces chase the chill from the air.
The large chamber is crammed with Alphas and Betas. A small army of disenfranchised soldiers who rallied behind General Stone when he defected from Fathim. They’ve sworn themselves to protecting the Blackreach Mountain Pass — the threshold to the last place Demi-humans can escape the influence of The Capital and the invading Human forces.
I search the crowd until I spot Jason sitting with co-workers from communications, who spend their time intercepting transmissions.
Jason's dark brown hair is cropped short. He might be tall for a Beta, but he’s still dwarfed by the surrounding Alphas. His cornflower blue eyes light up when he sees us, drawing me in as a beacon. I smile and wave as we join the food line.
Like me, Everlyn and Jason were caught before they made it into Blackreach, and are now reluctant recruits in his army as well. They can’t go back to Fathim.“You okay?” Jason asks once we’ve settled across from him with our bowls of oatmeal and chipped mugs of tea.
“Bad dreams,” I mutter, stirring the porridge until it looks more like glue than food. I don’t say anything more. It’s hard to explain that they’re not just twisted dreams. Ifeelthem.
Knox’s icy fury pressing against my ribcage like a warning.
Shade’s grief curling in my throat until I wake up choking on it.
Viper’s panic, raw and untethered, echoing through my bones.
And Blaze...
Blaze laughs. That wild, unhinged sound close to my ear, and far too real.
And maybe Everlyn is right. Itcouldbe.
Because what I know for sure, is the bond we unintentionally created during my training didn’t break. It just… stretched. Warped.
They’re still out there, and I feel them like phantom limbs. Even though I left, the tether’s still there. And every time I sleep, it drags me back to them whether I want to or not.
Jason nods, sipping his tea. He doesn’t say anything. He never does when my voice starts shaking like this, just waits for me to finish lying to myself.
"So, how was night shift?" Everlyn asks her mate before taking a bite of her breakfast.
He sighs, the mug thudding as he sets it down, his brows pulled tight. "We intercepted chatter from a Human scouting party. They're deeper in Fathim than we thought… and are approaching a town. Our reports show the Beta coup messaging is strong in this region, and they're unlikely to evacuate."
In other words, the stubborn folk of this town are about to meet a violent end. With each passing day, the war in Fathim becomes more dire.
I close my eyes. I can hear the fireplace crackling behind me, and breathe in the firewood smoke.
It smells like Blaze. Woodsmoke and fire. For a second, I can almost believe he’s beside me again, staring while I eat, like I’m the last good thing he’ll ever see. I’m fracked because that big weirdo has somehow made me miss his strange habits.
