Clinging to the wall, I made the trek to the facilities, bladder full to bursting, head filled with poison.
The captain had taken too much.
In sheer selfish arrogance, I had allowed this game between us to consume everything I had been.
Finished with my business, I staggered to my feet, pausing a moment to let the black, twinkling stars recede from my vision. Sweat prickled along my hairline as I washed, glancing at the sealed bathroom window, stymied at every turn.
But he couldn’t have thought ofeverything. There wasalwaysa way out. There had to be.
Letting a ragged breath escape my lips, I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Think.
He’d crippled me with the chains, turned my ki against my only allies, potentially corrupted the High Priestess for Goddess only knew what end,andpulled me back from the very cusp of death with a level of proficiency in the art of wielding ki to which I had never even thought to aspire.
Any way I turned, any path I chose, he’d been there before me. Already laid traps to tie me down and keep me pinned under thumb.
Seething, I picked at the gold on my left wrist, thumbing the little scabs.
I’d failed on the field because I’d been unable to admit I was no longer what I’d been. Headstrong and filled with impotent, arrogant rage, I’d relied on ki that wasn’t mine. Tried to tap a well of strength I no longer owned.
And it had cost good men their lives.
It was time to employ a different tactic, for if I couldn’t be the weapon, then I’d find one. If I couldn’t find one, I’d make one. Ki did not define me.
Not anymore.
With a grimace, I left the bathroom, heading straight for the captain’s desk on silent, albeit unsteady, feet. If there was a weaponanywherein this room, reason dictated it would be there. I rushed toward it, leaving a trail of flaking mud behind me, thrusting pens, paper, and various other stationery utensils aside. At length, I came across a letter opener, rusted and forgotten at the back of the middle drawer. Hardly the weapon of a vengeful crusader, and far from glamorous, but it would do the job.
Wrapping the crusty length of my skirt around my left wrist to keep it clear of clumsy feet, I made for the door. Unlocked, of course, for what threat could Ipossiblybe to the untouchable Captain Rawlings?
Stifling a hysterical bubble of laughter, I seized the banister, listening to the murmur of male voices out of sight. Clutching the opener, I took a step—and wobbled, vision hazy. Sinking to my bottom, I watched the world tilt off its axis, trying to tether myself to the ground before I floated away. Maybe I could close my eyes for just… just a few seconds…
No. I ground my teeth, shaking the cotton from my ears.No.I’d confront the captainnow—tonight—one miserable step at a time, weakness be damned.
And if he killed me for it?
Teeth bared, I slid forward on my bottom, using the railing to pull myself to the next step.
Hands laden with a silver tray piled with soiled dishes, Alicia appeared at the bottom of the stairs, shimmering in two places at once.
I froze, squinting, trying to decide which image was the Eloran traitor and which was the hallucination.
Four pretty green eyes met mine, and she gasped, casting a quick glance over her shoulder. “What’re you doing, lass?” she hissed, and, setting the tray on the floor, rushed up the stairs, skirts hiked to mid-shin.
Goddess, but she moved fast. I squeezed my eyes shut, swallowing back a wave of nausea.
“You should be in bed, you wee stubborn thing!”
“Don’t.” I bared my teeth, clinging to the banister, toes and lips tingling. “This does not concernyou.”
“Right,” she said, hands on hips. “And what does ‘this’entail, exactly?”
Scowling at the left-most version of her, I struggled to stand.
“Sit down before y’fall down,” she scoffed, but slipped her hands beneath my armpits, steadying me.
“No.” Pushing at her, trying again for the stairs, I said, “He’s going to answer for the things he’s done.”
