That would make Clover Hill headlines for sure. I forced my body straight and walked as fast as possible without running.
Past all the shops with their cute decorations and huddles of people standing around chatting and smiling.
I nodded at the few who registered my presence and pasted on the biggest fake smile that passed for genuine until I crossed the threshold into the pub.
It all came crashing over me at once. This was really it.
My back slammed into the door, and I slid toward the floor.
“Oh no. None of that.” Before I realized he’d even seen me, Declan crossed the room and pulled me to my feet. “Come on. Have a seat over here.” He locked the door behind me and guided me to the nearest booth with a hand on the small of my back.
I shed my coat as sweat gathered on my hairline. “Can’t breathe.” Grabbing the front of my sweater, I flapped it in an effort to cool my rising temperature.
“You can, Bree. You can do this. Here. Sit and close your eyes.” Declan nudged me into a seated position in the booth. The vinyl across from me squeaked, telling me he’d sat as well.
I shook my head but the feel of his hands on my face, smoothing my hair and brushing over my cheeks, turned the heat on for a different reason. “I need to schedule Nana’s celebration of life party. Here.” I forced my eyes open.
Declan lowered his hands to his lap, and I immediately missed his touch.
Which was ridiculous. I didn’t know this man. Or Finn. Or Ronan.
Declan pushed his back into the seat, his lips pulling to one side. “What do you have in mind?”
“I thought about waiting until St. Patrick’s Day, but I kind of want it over, you know?” I picked at the edge of my cuticles and stole a glance at Declan when he turned his head toward the bar.
He rocked his head from one side to the other. “We can decorate the place up for her. She always loved a good party.”
“She always said you only need three things for a good party. Music, food, and booze.” I ticked off each one on my fingers and managed to smile through the pain. “People were optional.”
“Even though she made her business supplying those people with booze.” Declan laughed, and it was such a carefree sound that it stopped me cold.
I’d never really considered a man beautiful until Declan. I stood and made my way to the bar, pouring myself a cup of coffee as a way to keep busy and stop staring at Declan. It worked for half a minute. Until I turned and realized I had to walk all the way back to the booth. “I hate to ask, but will you help me plan the party?”
“Of course. I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
Good. I had another reason to spend time with Declan, which was pathetic if I let myself think about it too much. Sure, he was easy to talk to.
He, Finn, and Ronan were old enough to be my father. Embarrassment heated my cheeks, and I ducked my head, focusing on taking each step without tripping into his lap.
Why did I have to be attracted to the three men who were not only twice my age but were Mom’s old friends? They’d knownme when I was a baby, all the way up until I left at the age of twelve. That alone made things awkward.
Fuck. It was too much to think about, and I didn’t have the headspace to decide if my emotions were too shattered to make a good decision about who I should take to bed.
“I can talk to our neighbors about helping out with spreading the word.” Declan motioned toward the window. “And it’ll be easy enough to get a notice put in the paper. Do you want it added to the pub’s social media?”
An ache formed behind my eyes. All I wanted was to go to sleep and wake up when the pain stopped. The world didn’t work that way. Mom and Nana made sure I understood that, so I stiffened my spine and drank my coffee and I planned a party for the last person alive who’d understood me.
Who I was drawn to emotionally and sexually would have to wait.
6
DECLAN
Planning a celebration of Maeve’s life hadn’t exactly been on my to-do list, but I was happy to put aside my daily tasks as the manager at O’Sullivan’s to help Bree.
She settled in the seat across from me, her coffee held tight in both hands like she worried it would run away from her if she let go.
The fluorescent light above us flickered, casting shadows across her face that made the dark circles under her eyes more prominent. She’d probably slept like shit.
