Their relationship was in the past. But Sage is so cool, with a cool name, and she’s pretty.
I hate her.
No, I don’t.
Of course I don’t. I don’t even know her.
I don’t like myself for feeling this seething, lethal envy that’s grown throughout the day from a tiny seed into a giant man-eating plant, like the one fromThe Little Shop of Horrors. Try as I might, thoughts of them together have kept sliding into my brain as I imagined Leon fucking her as her long tan legs tangled around him. It makes me feel sick, and yet, I want to know everything.
No, I don’t.
What I really want is to experience Leon’s piercing and stamina for myself.
I’m jealous of Sage because she knows him carnally, when all Leon and I have done is kiss, because we are taking things sloooowwww… unless… I say otherwise.
Being good feels terrible right now. When I want to be bad, so veryverybad. With Leon. Only Leon.
“I haven’t slept with anyone since Sage left.” Leon’s words catch me off guard. “No dates, no hookups. Nothing. Not because she meant something to me, it’s just that I stopped wanting that lifestyle a long time ago.”
Shaking his head slowly as mild panic flickers in his eyes, he says, “My body count, as you know, is high, and this might sound like a weak excuse, but I did it to help me forget you, Erika. It wasn’t spiteful; it was simply a way to drown out the noise and silence the pain because you were, are, and always will be everything I ever wanted, but not someone I could even consider having. Trust me when I say this: I wish I had never slept with every girl who batted her eyelashes at me, but I can’t rewrite those chapters of my life. I was a total jerk for using those girls, and I don’t like the person I used to be.”
I stay silent as he shares his troubling thoughts. “I’m sorry for all the times I hurt you. I didn’t know you were watching so closely or even noticed.”
“I saw,” I admit, recalling each girl he left parties, nightclubs, and the arena with after a game, piercing my already shattered heart more deeply than a dagger could.
He reaches up and runs his thumb over my cheek. “Even if you can’t forget, can you ever forgive me? I know it was a long time ago, but the other day you mentioned the puck bunnies along with all the other crappy decisions I made.”
“I forgive you. Because we weren’t together, Leon.”
“We are now. Unlike you running away from your wedding, my reputation is almost impossible to run away from.”
“Hey, that’s a low blow.” I jokingly punch his shoulder to soften the seriousness of our talk.
But he’s right about the speculation. The tabloids never leave him alone. The last headline I saw in the gossip columns accused Leon of getting cozy with a new woman watching an Eagles game when, in reality, it was his cousin visiting from England.
“I was once a boy who only thought with his dick; I’ve grown up a lot since then,” he says as if I didn’t already know that.
Focused, dedicated, and a workaholic, it turns out he hasn’t even dated or had sex with anyone in two years.
He hasn’t just changed; he’s completely turned his lifestyle around.
In a silly friendship moment, I would usually high-five him after he shared his news of abstinence, but now that we’re dating, it’s not just bad timing; it’s absurd of me to do that.
Softening his features, his vulnerability is spoken aloud for my ears only. “I want what you want. To feel something with someone special.” His soft words hit me hard; the same ones I said when I jumped into his car only a week ago.
So much has happened in seven days.
“I feel something with you. I always have,” I admit, my voice is barely above a whisper. “Actually, that’s not true, I don’t just feel something with you, I feel everything, everywhere, as if all my senses are heightened. And you make my heart do this fluttering thing I’ve only ever read about in books.” I blow out a breath, feeling free and alive, and I watch his panic visibly shift into what looks like relief.
His lips shape into a curve as if understanding what I’m explaining. “The same thing happens to me with you.”
“We’ve wasted so much time.” It’s incredible to finally leave the friend zone and pursue what we’ve always desired.
“We hid our feelings for far too long.” But now we’re unlocking parts of ourselves and our concerns, discovering gold inside, and hitting the jackpot. Together.
Leon wraps his arms around my waist and leans in. “Thank you.”
“For?” I don’t understand.
