The shadow of his cheeks hollow and pulse as his jaw tics, once, then twice, as if he’s trying to control himself from saying something he shouldn’t. “Is that what you really think about me?” he finally asks, and I hate how much hurt there is in his question.
“It’s what everyone thinks about you.” That’s the truth. Every headline is about who he’sseen leaving a nightclub withorspotted cozying up to. It sickens me and turns me a color that doesn’t suit me: green.
Envy swims around my stomach like a shark on the hunt because I hate it when he hooks up with those girls.
“Well, that stings coming from you.” Leon stuffs his hands into his pockets and readjusts his cock that’s most likely deflating as fast as my heart.
My guilt spikes tenfold because I shouldn’t have said that. We’re supposed to be friends, and friends don’t say shit like that to each other. It’s too honest and raw.
“I’m sorry,” I say, meaning it.
“You should go.”
I hold my breath for a beat before whispering, “You want me to leave?”
“I think it’s best that you do,” he replies in a bitter tone.
I take a step toward him, dread skimming over my skin. “Leon, I––”
“Just go.” He turns his back on me, the air turning frosty.
I worry my bottom lip before summoning the courage to ask, “Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
He’s never been this cold with me before, and I don’t like it. I cover up my mild panic with, “Okay. I guess if we leave separately, then no one will suspect anything.”
“And we wouldn’t want that now, would we, Erika? I mean, no one wants to be seen with a fuckup and a fuckboy.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.” All I’ve ever wanted to be is the girl in the picture, standing next to him with hearts in my eyes, but to him, I don’t exist in his world. Overlooked.
Sounding hurt, he mumbles, “But you did. Just go.”
Nervously, I run my sweaty palms down my thighs. “Are we still meeting for lunch tomorrow?” I ask hopefully, already knowing the answer because I can feel him pulling away from me.
“I can’t make it anymore.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and busies himself, practically ignoring me.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you next week instead?” I walk toward the door and wrap my hand around the handle.
“I have plans next week, and the week after that. You know with Louise, Susie, Kim, Frankie… I think you get the idea.”
“Leon… please, I didn’t mean to hurt?—”
“Erika. Fuck,” he shouts much louder than I think he means to, “will you just go?”
Bile climbs up my throat, and tears prick behind my eyes.
I never intended to hurt Leon. Why did I have to ruin everything?
Without saying another word, I give him the space he needs.
Opening the door, I check the corridor both ways to make sure it’s clear before stepping over the threshold, and I whisper an inaudible, “Bye, Leon.”
I’m not surprised when he doesn’t reply.
CHAPTER FIVE
Leon– Still in the Past:Four weeks later
