‘It’s the only way.’ I direct my stare at each of them in turn: Ryla’s raw anger, then Vullis, who bites his thumbnail; and finally, to Kopiro, whose face is the softest among them. They scan each other’s faces, too, trying to gauge the group. They are scared and angry on my behalf. I feel their love radiating throughout the room. But this is something I have to do.
‘Those waters are infested with Seaguardians and pirates,’ Ryla protests.
‘And cryptids, if you believe those fisherfolk tales,’ Vullis chimes in.
‘And no one has ever returned, at the queen’s behest or otherwise,’ says Kopiro with finality.
The breath catches in my throat at the truth of that.
‘You’re not a sailor, Ris,’ Kopiro pleads. ‘How will you get there? You don’t even know what you’re looking for.’
‘Something rare and valuable. It must be,’ Ris insists.
‘You remember the first edicts, right?’ Vullis asks, rubbing his chin. Before the edict on gifted children, when the queen’s quest was an honour.’
‘Promises of titles and cosy little seats up in the Bastion for anyone who could succeed,’ Ryla curls their slip.
‘Nothing like that anymore,’ I reflect, bitterly. ‘Now it’s a cursed quest, for the foolhardy. A reprieve from a death sentence.’
Vullis places a hand on my arm, warm and reassuring, knowing that Larkin is on my mind. ‘He wouldn’t want to be remembered that way.’
I jerk my arm away. ‘He forfeited that right when he abandoned his family!’
The room is silent, the echo of my shout hanging in the air. Have I woken Biba? Is she really asleep, or feigning it so she can listen to the adults?
‘And Salvacion has the gall to ask me to follow his footsteps.’
‘She’s trying to help you, in her own way,’ Kopiro says quietly.
My voice is thick in my throat. ‘I know,’ I say.
Her form of aid sits heavy on my skin: an impossible choice to remain and live in fear of the day they come for Biba – or to pursue a fool’s errand and live to hope.
Over the past few weeks, I have felt trapped here with my daughter. Afraid her joy or sorrow may explode. Unpredictable power in soft, untrained hands. I sneak a look at the door.
‘It seems I have become one of those desperate folk. It’s the only way to protect Biba. Her powers are stronger now. She... scares me sometimes.’ How can a mother be scared of her own child?
Kopiro places a hand over mine, as if trying to smother my confession. ‘Something is amiss in the world – that’s for sure. You’re not the only one to feel it, Ris.’
‘What do you mean: stronger?’ Ryla asks, tentatively.
‘She is more than touched,’ I whisper through parched lips. ‘I’ve seen her do impossible things. Unholy things.’
‘What kind of things?’ Ryla presses.
‘She can undo death,’ I whisper.
It is as if all the air has left the room. Ryla straightens up; Kopiro grips my hand tighter.
Vullis clears his throat. ‘In that case, maybe the temple is the right place for her.’
I glare at him. ‘How can a place that snatches children from their families be right?’
‘She could learn to control her powers,’ Vullis pleads. ‘I know you’re trying your best to teach her, Ris – but you don’t have the gift.’
‘Are they happy there?’ I ask desperately. ‘We have no idea what goes on there because we never hear from them. No one does. The best I could hope for is that one day I would see her standing on some balcony at the Bastion, next to the royals. Is that what you want?’
Ryla sighs and opens their hands in submission. ‘That’s the thing, Ris. We don’t know. And we don’t know what would happen if she stayed here without guidance.’ After a beat they add, ‘Have you asked Biba what she wants?’
