room for WHAT??
are you two ok???
Addie
Why won’t you answer???
Sky
mom!
mother!
madre!
talk to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Addie
You’re not giving up, are you?
For a moment, the edges of the screen blurred, the letters swimming.
Teddy cleared his throat, voice soft. “You wanna talk about it?”
No, I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to go back to the personI was before I got out of bed, someone who looked at snow and saw a metaphor for fresh starts and second chances.
But a fresh start required knowing what you wanted to start fresh toward. And I had no idea what that looked like with five hundred miles and a whole ass club between us.
I shook my head, just once. “No,” I whispered, because what I wanted to say would sound insane out loud.
It feels like every part of you that’s thriving in Colorado is another part that has no use for me.
I’m so proud of you, it hurts.
I want you to ask me to stay.
But that wasn’t how any of this worked. It wasn’t how we’d ever worked.
That was the price of admission—what I’d signed up for when I fell in love with him at fifteen. Being with Teddy Riggs meant always coming second to the club, always being kept at arm’s length from the parts of his life that really mattered.
I’d just forgotten during the past few days.
I took a shaky breath and tried to steady my voice. “I’m happy for you,” I said. “I am. You finally got your own club. Your own life. I hope you—” My voice cracked. “I hope you get everything you want.”
He frowned, like I’d said something in another language. “Then why do you sound like you’re about to cry?”
Maybe it was because I’d always thought that if he ever found happiness, it would be with me. Maybe it was because the thought of him moving on without me felt like losing Levi all over again.
A different kind of grief, but just as sharp. Just as permanent.
I couldn’t answer. Couldn’t find the words to explain that watching him build a beautiful, full life felt like proof of what I’d long suspected—that he was better off without me dragging him down.
17
teddy
“Hey,”I said softly, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, needing to touch her even if it felt like she already had one foot out the door. “Look at me.”
