“No, I think I just want to lie down.”
I nod and show her where the guest bedroom and bathroom are. “Make yourself at home. If you need anything, just let me know.”
She turns from the doorway to the bedroom and wraps her arms around my waist. “Thank you, Casen.”
“You’re welcome.” I kiss the top of her forehead and let her go.
Walking back into my living room, I sigh at the sight of papers scattered everywhere. After picking them up, I grab the broom from the kitchen and sweep up the glass from the lamp before cracking open a beer and falling into the sofa. The ice cold liquid slides down my throat, instantly relaxing me. I didn’t realize how tense I had been. All of my muscles ache. I’m sure walking up ten flights of stairs didn’t help. My head falls backward on the edge of the couch and my eyes involuntarily shut.
“What a fucking day,” I whisper to myself.
I’ve been hit with two crushing blows today and I don’t know which one to focus on first. My mind switches between them at an alarming pace. One minute I’m angry with Embyr. The next I’m missing her touch. The next I’m mourning the loss of one of my best friends, and then angry at whoever did this to him.
I can’t even believe the police think it’s someone Ian knew. How? What leads them to that conclusion? I’d almost bet it was someone he was tailing or working for. He had some pretty shady clients from the stories he had told me. I just hope they find the motherfucker and fast. We can’t get Ian back but we can nail the asshole that did it to the wall.
Then there’s Embyr. What about her? I know it’s going to take a long time to get over what she has done. Was she trying to make me fall in love with her and then crush me? If that was her intent, she made good on it. I’ve never fallen for someone as fast as I did with her. She was sweet and spicy all in one. We not only matched on an emotional level but the physical connection was off the charts. She liked it just as dirty as I did. Or maybe that was a game too. She was trying to make it seem as though we were perfect for each other on every level. I just don’t know what is real anymore.
I decide to pull my phone out of my pocket and take it off silent. The break from it has been nice. I see I’ve missed three calls from my mom, four from Embyr and one voicemail, but it’s the seven texts that have my heart racing.
Embyr: Casen, please come back.
Embyr: Can you pick up your phone? I want to talk.
Embyr: I’m so sorry.
Embyr: Please forgive me.
Embyr: You have to let me explain. Please. I’m begging. Fifteen minutes, Casen.
Embyr: I want to be there for you.
Embyr: I love you.
I pretend that those messages aren’t affecting me and hit my voicemail. God has mercy on me because it’s from my mom. I don’t think I could hear Embyr’s voice right now. It’s bad enough I had to read what she wrote.
“Casen.” My mom softly cries. “I just heard about Ian. You must be devastated. Call me back. I love you, son.”
My mother’s voice has a calming effect on me. Even if it’s just for a brief moment I feel as though I can breathe. It can’t last because I can’t ignore Embyr. I’m not that guy.
Me: I’m sorry too.
She replies almost immediately.
Embyr: Let me come over to talk.
Me: No.
Embyr: Tomorrow?
I don’t answer her. I can’t give in. She tore me to shreds. I’m not sure when or how I can forgive what she’s done.
“Casen?” Kate appears in front of me. My eyes slide up her bare legs to her purple shirt that hardly covers her boy short underwear. My gaze finds hers and she has tears falling down both cheeks. “Can you just hold me?”
I pat the spot next to me, not wanting to deny a sister grieving her brother. She slips in beside me, her head falling into my lap, and I grab the blanket over the back of the couch and place it over her body.
