When we finally reach our table on the other side of the room, I pull a chair out for Kate and notice how close to the front we are. “How do you know the bride and groom?” I ask her.
She takes a sip of water. “I went to college with Marissa, the bride.”
The music begins and we listen as the DJ announces the bridal party. I see what they mean by the bride picking the ugliest bridesmaids dresses. These are hideous and I’m glad men get to wear tuxedos. When the last of the bridal party appears from behind the doors, the bride and groom begin their first dance. The groom is one lucky bastard. He is definitely marrying up. The beginning of “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran starts and he spins his bride around the dance floor. The last of the notes ring through the speakers. Kate motions for us to stand up and get some drinks when I’m rooted back into my seat.
Embyr is in the back corner next to the DJ, clipboard in hand and headphones over her ears. The bride pales in comparison to her. She is a vision even from fifty feet away. Her hair is down and stick straight. She smiles, and it shatters another brick from the wall that is crumbling at my feet. Two days in a row I see this woman and all I want to do is bow down at her feet and lick my way up to the top. The black pencil skirt would be easy to slide up over her waist. The button up white shirt just a rip from busting open and scattering buttons across the floor. I swallow the lump in my throat and try to keep myself from going over to her. To finish what we started against the wall last night.
“Isn’t that your girlfriend, who isn’t your girlfriend?” Kate laughs from beside me. “The one who showed up at your door?”
“It is,” I tell her as I stand. “Can I get you a drink?”
She gives me her order and I walk to the furthest of the four bars, avoiding Embyr.
This must be her new job. I know she was interviewing for a corporate planning position at a hotel but that was the day I found out she was Annie. Reece told me she got the job but never where it was. I guess it was here, a few blocks from her new condo. I didn’t think she was interested in doing weddings. Not that it mattered. Even if I knew she was going to be here I wouldn’t have denied Kate. She needed me – someone to fill in for her big brother. I just hope that’s all that this is. I wouldn’t want to give Kate the impression that I wanted anything more than to just be her friend. Even if that was the case, I’m still fucked up about Embyr.
How can I still be head over feet for a woman who betrayed me? But I guess she could ask the same from herself if she does even still love me. How could she have fallen in love with someone who hurt her like I did?
I try not to look around for her and in a room full of a thousand people it shouldn’t be that hard to do. Within seconds, our eyes meet from across the room and it’s all I can muster to break free. She looked past me so I wonder if she even saw that I was here.
The line for the bar doesn’t take long and before I know it I’m back at our table, handing Kate her pink moscato.
She takes a sip while squeezing my hand. “Thank you so much, Casen. For everything.”
Kate introduces me to the entire table but I know for sure I won’t remember any of their names. As much as I was seemingly interested, I can’t help but look for Embyr in the background.
I catch her speaking to another employee in the corner. Her hands are animated while she speaks and the pen in her hand drops to the floor. Both the male employee and I take advantage of the view as she bends to pick it up. He licks his lips and smiles. I want to rip his head off and feed it to the fucking fish in Lake Michigan.
I’m possessive of what isn’t mine anymore and I realize how much of a dick I’m being to Kate. I don’t think I have said one word to her since I brought her drink back from the bar. I’m disappointed in myself and I know Ian would be as well. Resolving to right my wrong, I give her my full attention.
When dinner is done I ask if Kate would like to dance. She smiles brightly as she takes my hand and I lead her onto the dance floor. She is an attractive woman. Any man would be lucky to have her on his arm.
“So, what happened with your ex?” I ask as we glide across the floor, between other wedding guests.
She shrugs. “I don’t really know. One day I was happy and content and the next I realized he didn’t have what I wanted in a man. We weren’t compatible. Not in the bedroom, not in our careers. I was starting mine and he was still trying to figure out his. Plus, we weren’t in love. I wanted to be with someone who made feel alive all the time. It felt like we just kind of lost our way and I knew I needed to end it before it got too far. Before we both felt like it was too late to let go of one another.”
“How long did you date?”
She thinks on it for a moment. “Just over a year and a half. We broke up a month before Ian died.”
Pulling her in tighter, I kiss her cheek. “I’m sorry, Kate.”
“Me too,” she whispers. “I just want to have that all-consuming love. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.”
“I don’t either.”
She leans back. “Did you have that with Embyr?”
“Oh, she consumed me all right.”
The song ends with the DJ announcing the cutting of the cake. I grab Kate’s hand to lead her off the dance floor only to find we had an audience.
Embyr’s eyes are staring at our clasped hands. I’m not sure what the look on her face conveys but I know it’s not good. She’s either pissed or sad. Maybe even a little of both. We have no choice but to walk past her toward our table. With each step, I feel the pull to her stronger than the last. She says nothing as I brush past her, my right hand grazing her thigh. Her intake of breath is louder than the music and I can feel her skin prickle between my fingertips.
What I wouldn’t give to release my hold on Kate and drag Embyr into the closest empty room. My willpower is dwindling. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold off myself.
I hear her as I pass, hoping I’m the only one. “Up my skirt yesterday, up hers today, huh, Casen?”
It angers me. However, I don’t respond. I don’t know how to. Everywhere I turn lately, Embyr is there. In the women I see walking on the street. In my dreams. When I go out. She is behind every corner and I can’t escape her. I don’t even think I want to. My brain is starting to catch up with my heart, and it’s breaking me down. Every single second of the day is filled with Embyr and I just want my life back. Whether that is with her in it or with her out of it, I need to make a choice and do it soon. Do I want her back? Do I want to forgive her? Do I want to forget every single moment we’ve ever shared or spent together? I’ve never been so tattered before in my life.
