FIVE
EMBYR
I’m sliding the last shirt on a hanger and placing it in my closet when Trinity comes into my room, without knocking of course. She has two glasses of wine, one of which she is holding toward me. I greedily seize it from her hands while she takes her place on my recently made bed. I, deciding it’s wine o’clock, sit on my new fabric chair I purchased yesterday. It’s a teal and purple paisley pattern. My room has more than enough space to fit a small coffee table, the chair, and a new desk, as well as the dresser and bed I already own. Now that I work for the hotel, with a nice, honest salary, I wanted to turn my room into a place where I could not only rest my head at night but also work in comfort if need be.
The last two months since I lost Casen have been a real eye opener for me. Even though I fell in love with him, I still had so much pent up anger toward the entire PITCREW. I’ve been working on letting all of that go. I was a bitch and mad for so long that it’s been nice to just free myself of all that animosity. With all the mental changes I’ve strived to make, I have also made a lot of physical ones. I purchased a new condo that was not only closer to my job but had a more open concept. Something I really wanted in my home. The timing was great for Trinity since her sister finally got back on her feet with a job that helps with daycare expenses. She was more than happy to get out of there.
I’ve been taking classes at the gym. Yoga, Zumba, Pilates, and also adding in weight training. I went to one of the best stylists in the city and trimmed my hair into a layered cut and lightened the burgundy red. I feel as though I am starting new, but I yearn to have Casen back in my arms and in my bed. I have dreams of me scratching my nails down his back in nothing but angry, make up sex.
“Your room looks great, Em.” Trin compliments. “I am still trying to figure out what color to paint mine.”
Taking a sip of my wine, I scan the light turquoise color of my walls with brushed silver accents. “I wanted something cheery.”
She smiles, looking behind me. “I just love this place. The balconies off all the rooms are amazing.”
Another item I checked off my condo must haves list. I wanted to be able to walk out to the balcony first thing in the morning and breathe in the morning air. “I agree.”
“So, uhm, that was interesting last week,” she says almost hesitantly. “Casen showing up.”
I was wondering when she would bring it up. Not that there has been much time, our schedules have conflicted this week, and today is the first day we’ve both been home at the same time. It’s a Sunday and with everything in its place now, I am happy to begin Monday with a fresh start.
“It was,” I respond because even though it was eight days ago, I have thought about, dissected, and scrutinized every single moment of that day. Analyzed it. Dug deep into my crazy thoughts as to what it might have meant. He was curt with me when he first arrived at the old place only to allow himself to be mere inches from me before he left. Was he relenting or was it the beer that was loosening him up? I hope it’s the former but know damn well it’s the latter. I found myself inhaling his scent, and it brought back our short time together. What I can’t figure out is why he took the picture with him.
“That’s it?” She grunts. “That’s all I’m going to get from you?”
I shrug. “I guess so. I don’t know what to say. I think he just came to help out Reece. I sent him a text the next day thanking him and he responded which is more than I can say has happened the past few months.”
“Maybe you’re wearing him down.”
“Doubtful. And what about you and Reece?” I attempt to change the subject. “You said he barely touches you but I saw him pull you onto his lap before he left. I had to turn away so I wouldn’t get a show.”
She gets a dreamy look in her eyes. “I don’t know, Em. Since all that went down with you and Casen he hasn’t pursued anything with me besides calling or texting every day. It’s like we hit a wall. I’m a patient person but I’ve had to go scratch my itches somewhere else. What you saw was something that hasn’t happened in a long time. Not since before you found out what he did. He seemed desperate for me and then just stopped cold and called an Uber.”
“I don’t think Reece would have helped us out if he didn’t care for you.”
She stands, walking to my dresser and drags her free hand across it. “I know he cares but I can’t keep doing this. I want him. I want sex from him. I want a relationship with him but he doesn’t seem to. If things don’t change soon I’m done.”
I can’t blame her. The last time Reece and I spoke, and I mean really spoke, I felt like he wanted more than just a fling with her, but a fling consists of sex, which they have never had. I haven’t seen him much since I don’t hang around Casen anymore and until Trinity moved in there was no reason for me to see him. I just hope he gets it straight or I don’t doubt that Trin will move on – and fast. Except, I’m surprised she hasn’t completely dropped Reece by now.
“Why don’t you just show up at his house in nothing but a trench coat?” I joke, taking more than a sip of wine. I’m thirsty and should be drinking water but this is so good.
“Embyr, I’ve offered myself up to him on a platter many times before. Although, he did ask me what I wanted for my birthday. Maybe I’ll tell him I’d like a ride on his face.” Her hip leans into my dresser, a finger coming up to her chin like she is contemplating just that.
I almost spit my drink out. “Trinity!”
“What? I’m just saying. That scruff would feel amazing.” She laughs and walks to my door but turns. “Oh, we’re going to Red Ex on the fifteenth to celebrate!”
The fifteenth. Why does that sound familiar. Shit. “Fuck! I can’t! I’m on a work trip from that Friday to Tuesday. Special events convention that weekend.”
“Cancel.” She jokes. Or I think she does.
“I can’t cancel. Derrick says it’s mandatory. He’s already set up our travel arrangements. Can you do it the following weekend?”
Her head falls back, her eyes looking to the ceiling. “No. My sister wants me to stay with the kids all weekend so she can go up to Door County with her new boyfriend.”
I laugh. “Tell her to get protection.”
She snorts. “No kidding, but are you sure you can’t reschedule?”
