FOUR
CASEN
TWO MONTHS LATER
“I’m fucking spent.” Reece complains, practically falling out of the fire truck, minutes after we return from a car accident just a block away. It seems like we’ve had nonstop calls most of the night and I feel as exhausted as he looks. I’m halfway thinking about taking a nap at the firehouse when the next shift comes in. I’m not sure I’ll make it back home before my eyes involuntarily shut.
“Me too.” I sigh, following him into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “You have any plans today?”
He looks down, picking imaginary lint off his sweat-stained shirt. “I’m helping Trin move into the new place with Em.”
I shake my head. He calls her Em like they are best friends now. We don’t speak about her, or even Trinity, which makes me feel like a real asshole because I know she means a lot to him. I also suspect he is trying to be a good friend by not bringing up Embyr in our conversations. I just don’t think it’s helping me get over her by not talking about what happened. Or about anything. I’m so far from over her. The time has not been helpful like I had thought, and the kiss we shared in my hallway plays over and over in my mind on a daily basis. I lost a lot of my normalcy the day Ian died and I found out about Embyr. Actually, my life had been far from ordinary since the day I met Embyr.
I’ve thought a lot about what Reece said at the restaurant the day of Ian’s wake. All those years ago we let bad things happen to her. How could I not expect her to be angry with that? My mind though, it can’t wrap around the thought that she and Annie are one in the same. The sweet, innocent teenage girl morphed into a jaded adult who wanted revenge. Some days I don’t blame Embyr. We ruined her but I can’t get myself to forgive her for not telling me after she claims she had fallen in love with me. To say my mind is running in circles could be the understatement of the century.
My intention behind finding Annie was to make sure she was okay and ask her for forgiveness. So why shouldn’t I forgive Embyr? She didn’t make Patrick a thief. Wesley had already been disturbed for so long, and Evan, he was a scumbag cheater for years. I just can’t help but wonder what she was planning for Ian and Reece because I know slicing my heart into the tiniest of pieces was my revenge. I’m still trying to super glue it back together. The shitty part is that my heart still wants Embyr and my brain tells me to run, which is why I’ve successfully avoided her for the past sixty-three days. But who’s counting?
I try to play it off like I’m okay with him being buddy-buddy with the woman I hate to love and love to hate. “You sure you have enough energy for that?”
He shrugs, leaning into the doorway, his eyes meeting mine. He is most likely wondering if I’m going to fly off the handle with the mention of Embyr. I know he forgives her because he was mostly responsible for what happened back in high school. Me? I’m trying to let it go. I’m just wondering what happens when I finally do absolve her. Will I want her back? If I did, is she even still single?
“I don’t have a choice. They don’t have anyone else to help them.” He lifts his arms and flexes his biceps. “I’m the muscle.”
My eyebrows scrunch together. “It’s just the three of you moving all their stuff out?”
“Well, just stuff from Embyr’s condo. Last week Trinity moved in her things that were at her sister’s place. She didn’t have much since she left all her furniture at Embyr’s, and they just closed on the sale of her condo.”
I nod. My heart palpitating before I ask, “Do you want help?”
The water bottle he is holding freezes midway to his mouth, his eyebrows shooting up. “You know Embyr will be there?”
I squint my eyes in his direction. “I know, jackass. You have one minute to take my help or I’m going to go home and take a nap.”
Reece contemplates for a moment before he smiles. “Okay. I’ll take the help but only if you’re sure you can handle being around her. I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen one another.”
Keeping myself from growling, I brush past him. “I’ll be fine. Just text me what time to meet you over there.”
***
It’s just after lunch when I find myself walking down the hallway toward Embyr’s old condo. The last time I was here was to confront her. It feels like so long ago and yet no time has passed since. As I near her door, I can see it’s wide open and I hear Beyonce’s voice filtering into the hall. When I step inside the doorway my entire body becomes paralyzed. I forgot how much of an effect she has on me, but this is different. This is something I have never seen before. Not from Annie. Not from Embyr. What I encounter is a woman looking completely carefree. Embyr is in a light blue t-shirt that is so see through you can see her royal colored sports bra underneath. Her white shorts cling tightly to her ass and I have to take a deep breath and not let all the blood rush south, where I sure as hell don’t want it to be. Her hair looks shorter, though I can’t tell for sure with it up in a ponytail. She’s lost some weight since I last saw her at the wake but her body looks to be more toned. Her narrow hips are swaying side to side as she sings and pulls down some wine glasses from the top of her cabinet. She quickly wraps one up and then proceeds to grab the next. Her voice is beautiful, and I’m astounded by what I’m looking at. Annie was always shy, reserved and Embyr was always abrasive and sexy. This, this is new.
I feel a hard shove from behind me. “Go in, man!” Reece shouts, scaring Embyr. She shrieks and drops the glass on the floor causing it to shatter.
She’s always breaking shit.
“Don’t move!” I command, striding over. “You don’t have shoes on.”
Her eyes are wide and she’s rendered speechless as I take her up into my arms and carry her over to the doorway. Her shirt slips and my hands come into contact with the soft skin of her stomach. I feel the goose bumps make their appearance underneath my fingertips and almost drop her next to her shoes. It’s like she burned my skin. I don’t think I was prepared enough for this.
“Put those on.” I point to her flip flops and walk back toward her kitchen where Reece is already sweeping up the broken glass. I pretend as if holding her had no effect on me.
We work together to clean up the remaining shards of glass. Embyr and Trin are both in the doorway, staring at me like I’m a sideshow. Embyr walks toward us after we’ve finished, turning the music down. “Casen.” She barely breathes my name out. I can’t hear it coming from her lips. It’s too much.
I swallow. “I’m here to help Reece move the big items. That’s it.”
Her face falls, but I can’t help noticing she dropped the contacts and her eyes are no longer emerald. They are Annie’s eyes. The deepest shade of chocolate. The ones I dreamed about almost every night in school. The ones I saw before all the bullshit we put her through.
In that moment, I become gutted. Here she was, standing in front of me, looking like the Annie I fell in love with back in high school, but with a hint of the Embyr, who had shown me that young love was nothing compared to what she can make me feel now.
