Elizabeth felt a shaft of guilt. “We must never forget, must we, that Papa ended Mr Collins’s dreams too. I am sure that what he received in exchange was more than worthwhile, however. And I do not think we are opposed to what he says, so much as the length of time he takes to say it. I believe that most people can truly pay attention for only a few minutes at a time in usual conversation. At least, I cannot take in long lectures, which may be only a personal flaw.”
“It is true for me as well.”
“But I shall not feel any pity for Mama, who needs to restrain her tongue far more than Mr Collins ever should. Thank you, sister dear, for helping him to help her.” Seeking a change in topic, Elizabeth asked, “Would you care for these kippers? You are the one who likes them, I recall, and Mama can never remember how I detest them.”
Jane glanced at the fish, and abruptly turned rather green.
“No—no thank you.” She looked away from the table and held her napkin to her lips; she seemed to be taking several deep breaths.
Elizabeth sat in silence for several moments before deciding to speak. “You are with child, are you not?”
Plainly startled by this observation, her sister’s eyes widened. “Oh…I am not quite…I mean…it could be another…” she trailed off into mild incoherence.
Placing her hand over Jane’s, Elizabeth spoke gently. “You do not need to confirm it; I am sure it is early days yet.”
“It is only…if things do not turn out as I hope…”
“I completely understand. You need say nothing. Only know that if there is anything I can do to help, you must only say the word.” She covered the kippers with her napkin, so that they were no longer in sight.
A tear escaped Jane, and then another. “You are too good to me, Lizzy. I do not deserve to have you in my life.”
“You will always have me, and I am grateful to have you. We have agreed to let the past go, have we not?”
“Yes. I would like to, but I feel so ashamed.”
Elizabeth squeezed her sister’s hand. “Only remember the past as its remembrance gains you wisdom. Both of us still have much to anticipate, do we not?”
At this, Jane’s expression eased. They shared the smile of co-conspirators, both filled with hope, excitement, and expectation of a future far better than the prospects of the past.
32
AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR
The upshot of Mr Collins’s persistent preaching was that Mrs Bennet became very careful in how she spoke to Elizabeth, transferring all of her disappointment in the loss of the great house at Stoke to the accountability of Fanny and John Ashwood.
Mrs Long was the first to hear her mother’s revised opinions, a mere few days after Elizabeth returned to Longbourn. “I tell you, Matilda, poor Lizzy has beenabusedby that family, and I do not hesitate to say it. I would not allow a dog to live in that pathetic excuse for a dower house.”
‘Poor Lizzy’?Elizabeth turned to look at her mother, hardly able to believe her words.
Matilda Long appeared sceptical. “Did you not tell me that Lizzy was too stubborn for her own good, and that she ought to return to the big house at Stoke?” Mrs Long had no qualms about casting up Elizabeth’s flaws for the delectation of the company.
“If that is how you heard it, it is not what I meant,” MrsBennet cried. “Lizzy hashadto acquire a strong will to endure such ill treatment as she has received. She nursed old Ashwood through ailment after ailment, each spell worse than the one before it. He would not have lasted a month under the care of Fanny Ashwood, I vow. Obviously, Lizzyoughtto have had a place of honour at Stoke, but with two such mean-spirited money-grubs as John and Fanny Ashwood, why should she go anywhere near them, much less live beneath their insults? They happily sent her to subsist in what is no better than a stable hut! Just go and look at that wreck they threw her into for yourself! If more folks paid attention, others would see what I am saying and know it for truth!”
The Mrs Longs of the neighbourhood enjoyed repeating such embellishments. But it was not only Mrs Bennet who had, apparently, begun voicing a change of heart. By all accounts, Miss Bingley had taken the field as Elizabeth’s greatest defender. She let her disgust of Fanny and John Ashwood’s treatment of her new ‘dear’ friend be known far and wide to anyone who would listen—and many did. Mrs Hurst was more civil in her discourse regarding the Ashwoods, but then, she did not have so many amends to make towards Elizabeth. Most recently, Darcy, too, had been heard to agree vehemently with Miss Bingley, and where Darcy went, more than Bingleys followed.
News of Elizabeth’s return to Longbourn, and the Ashwoods’ underhandedness spread more rapidly than even the Bingleys’ invitations, and Longbourn’s best drawing room was refilled to the brim with callers each successive morning. The impending ball was the excuse they all used, but mostly, everyone wished to hear for themselves the truth of Elizabeth’s ill treatment at the hands of the Ashwoods, and, Elizabeth oftenthought, were almost disappointed when she looked as she always had, instead of an emaciated, battered version of herself.
It was difficult to find the right balance of what to say in response. The Ashwoodshadtreated her poorly; she did not like them. But many of these people had not been blameless, either, withholding friendship on the basis of Fanny’s words, or her mother’s. What was done, was done, and she hated dwelling on a past that was painful.
“I hardly see what the fuss is about,” she complained one morning, stopped, once again, from finishing a letter to her aunt and uncle Gardiner. She wished to tell them of her new direction as well as the forthcoming nuptials, only to be interrupted by Mary informing her of the latest onslaught of callers awaiting her notice. “The dower cottage’s condition was hardly a great secret. Anyone could have seen its forlorn appearance before this—none of my situation is news. And despite how dilapidated it is, the small part I lived in was sound enough. Uncle Gardiner made sure of it.”
“The fuss is about a collective guilty conscience,” Mary calmly replied. “They are all ashamed of themselves. They rejoiced in appointing a new reigning queen of society when Fanny Ashwood acquired Stoke—they were all taken with her looks and fashionable clothing. Few listened to me or the Palmers defending you, but now they are remembering. Besides, nothing draws a greater crowd than the downfall of the mighty.”
“I suppose. I just hope it all blows over quickly.”
“Well,” Mary drawled. “I would not count on that. I have noticed a certain frequent visitor from Netherfield, who cannot seem to take his eyes from you, and whom Jane repeatedly sends to explore the far-off corners of our estatein your company. Really, how many times must I make excuses to abandon you two, and distract Mama from seeing what is right in front of her?”
Elizabeth smiled at her younger sister. “Sometimes I forget that you have grown older and wiser in the past few years.”
