Mr Bennet’s face hardened. “There is, unfortunately, no choice in the matter. I owe him a debt I cannot repay. He has called in his markers. If you do not marry him, I am ruined, and all our family with me.”
“What?” Elizabeth closed her eyes, feeling the trap closing in around her.
“I shall not repeat myself. Youwillmarry Mr Goulding. He is rich, and you may have more fine clothes and carriages than even Jane, should she marry Mr Bingley. You will become mistress of a house larger than Netherfield and possess anything money can buy. Any refusal proves you ungrateful and childish, behaving as though I am throwing you out into the hedgerows.”
At this unfeeling charge, she reared back. “Since when do fine clothes and carriages equal happiness? Is there not some other way to repay your debt to him? Mary, Kitty, or even Lydia might cherish the opportunity to become mistress of Haye-Park. Why not at leastaska daughter who mightbegrateful?”
He looked away. “Your sisters are too young, he says. He will only accept marriage to you or Jane. Those were his conditions, not mine. I have no choice.Youhave no choice.”
“Because Jane is already betrothed, at least in Mama’s mind—and apparently yours. She must seize her chance for happiness while I am denied any such possibility.” It was not fair to Jane, but in her hurt and horror, she could only feel bitterness.
“Is there another gentleman who will take you?” he asked harshly. “Do you believe Mr Wickham, whom Mr Darcy has already ruined, will support you on an officer’s pay? Perhaps you would prefer Mr Collins? Or has Mr Darcy changed his mind, and now finds you ‘handsome enough to tempt him’?”
“You are cruel,” Elizabeth whispered, tears burning her eyes.
He sighed, and his tone softened. “I do not mean to be. You will understand how difficult it is when you are a parent. I would see you taken care of for the rest of your life. I assure you—it is your welfare I pursue in this matter. If you find yourself a wealthy widow in twenty years, it will not be too late to seek your own happiness. Goulding is my dear friend—”
“A dear friend who has called in his markers. A dear friend to whom you sell me. A dear friend who will see our family ruined if you do not.” Her voice dripped with bitter sarcasm.
“He acts for more than selfish reasons,” he argued, his voice rising again. “The heir presumptive to Haye-Park is a childless, elderly cousin in ill health. The next in line after him is known for his callousness, and Goulding does not trust him. The idea of his tenants suffering, of everything he has spent his life working for going to someone unworthy—well, I, of all people, can sympathise.”
“How very compassionate of you! Forgive me for thinking the price of your pity too high since it involves forcing me into a union I do not want!”
Mr Bennet stood with more force than usual. He strode across the room and retrieved a book from a side table before returning to his desk chair. “I am not interested in discussing this further. Goulding needs a wife young enough to provide him with his heir, and you require a good, loyal husband who will treat you well and provide for your future. Had my cousin Collins anything at all in his brainbox, I would have insisted one of you girls take him. As it is, I must assure him that both my eldest already have certain prospects, and he must take a second look at Mary. Perhaps the three of you may have a triple wedding and send your mother into paroxysms of planning pleasure.”
How could he tease at a time like this? And the very idea of sharing a wedding with Jane, so in love with the handsome, genial Mr Bingley—whileshewas forced to marry a man older than her father—was a sick joke.
“You may also tell Mr Collins to look elsewhere for a partner for the opening set tonight,” she said, doing her best not to let her voice or manner betray her growing despair. “I shall not attend.”
“I will not permit you to stay at home, bemoaning your fate and wallowing in self-pity. You will go to the ball with your family. I am certain that after you give the matter due consideration, you will realise all thepersonalbenefits of the match. That you will have the means to save your entire family is but an additional advantage.”
Even through the turbulence in her mind, Elizabeth could feel the bitter irony of her father, for once, thinking ahead for his family’s welfare.
“I shall make no announcement this evening. Not even your mother knows as yet. This night is for dancing and merriment. You may celebrate your girlhood with all the others. Your prospects were never very good, and this is an excellent match, one you will learn to appreciate. It is time to grow up, Elizabeth.”
At that, he picked up his book, his usual barrier against further discussion. She would find no mercy here.
With a heavy heart, she made her way to her bedchamber to lie down and stare at the ceiling, too heart-broken even to cry.
Elizabeth readied herself for the ball as slowly as humanly possible. Everything felt wrong—her hands were clumsy, her limbs nerveless. Every time she looked in the mirror, it seemed a stranger was there, peering back at her with deadened eyes. The six Bennet ladies, when decked in ballroom regalia, could not all fit in the carriage at the same time regardless, and it must return for her and Mary, who had drawn the short straw on inclusion in the first round of the three-mile journey.
“What is wrong with you, Lizzy?” she asked, after walking in to find Elizabeth staring blankly at the wall instead of donning her gown.
Elizabeth only shrugged.I have been pierced in the heart and am bleeding to death inside, she thought but could not say.
Her glance settled on the half-finished embroidery on the bodice; she had been unable to summon an interest in finishing it. What did it matter? Even if Mr Wickhamdiddance with her, he would never be an acceptable choice of husband, as her father had so unkindly pointed out. Had Mr Wickham been so lost to reason—or deceived regarding her fortune—as to ask for her hand in marriage, she would have had to refuse. Whether or not his circumstance was his own fault, he simply could not afford an impoverished wife. She knew few men who could; she ought to have been looking within the circles her uncle inhabited. She had been as blind as her father had accused Goulding of being, blind and unreasoning, believing that life might deliver her up a suitable love match as it had for Jane.
Not that her father would have approved of a husband from the less elevated circles of trade and business. He would have fought such ideas, tooth and nail.
Regardless, it was too late for should haves or could haves; the only circles remaining were in her thoughts, spinning round and round, aimless and useless in a desolate refrain of,if only, if only, if only.
After finally arriving at Netherfield, she quickly found a large retiring room. It was nearly empty except for two maids, waiting in readiness should their assistance be needed. Assured Elizabeth required none, they politely ignored her. She stared out of a small window at the darkening landscape below, seeing nothing.
When the room ceased to be a refuge, she knew she had better make an appearance in the ballroom. Meeting the eyes of no one was simple in the crush; instead, she cast about for Charlotte Lucas. Elizabeth needed a friend desperately.
Once she spotted Charlotte sitting and watching the dancing, however, Elizabeth’s urge to speak of her unhappiness disappeared abruptly under a wave of realisation. Charlotte had longed to marry for some years. Her practical friend would look at Mr Goulding and prosperous Haye-Park and call Lizzy a fool for caring about age and choice. Nearly any sensible man who could provide a secure future would do for her.
Elizabeth quickly walked in the opposite direction, searching for some corner or nook where she might remain unobserved.
