“I don’t know what or why, but there’s something not right. It frightens me how I fall apart when I see him or just hear his voice. This is a man I spent part of my life loving and giving my body to. Since we broke up, though, I can see what a huge mistake that relationship was.”
A rush of rage runs through my body at the thought of him touching her. I know I don’t have any right to feel like that, but I can’t stop it.
“I despise him, and he pisses me off daily at work, but up until now, I’ve never been scared of him.” She stops to take a breath, and I can see in her eyes she’s telling me the truth. “He’s just a stupid man child who can’t keep his dick in his pants. He’ll never grow up or settle down. It’s just not in his DNA to want to frighten me.” Sighing, she leans further back into the couch. “So why am I so scared of him now?”
I hate seeing her so confused.
“Poppy, know that I will protect you. He won’t get anywhere near you, that I can promise you. And in the meantime, we’ll work it out, together. How about you tell me what happened when you went home after Christmas. Did things change, how was he treating you, is he still chasing that twenty-year-old?” I need to try to gather the pieces and see if we can make sense of it together.
Poppy starts talking, telling me what it’s been like at work over the last few months. Right up to the first time she mentioned a man to Dean, but not giving him my name, and how his demeanor then changed toward her. I’m thankful he lives in Rochester because I might be in jail for assault with the rage currently flooding through me. And that’s not the way to solve things, but I sure as hell want to hurt him for the way he has treated Poppy. Even if she weren’t someone so dear to me, I’d be disgusted at the way Dean treats women in general.
“You aren’t saying anything, Landon.” Poppy reaches forward and places her hand on my knee. I didn’t realize how clenched my jaw had become over the last ten minutes. Trying to open it to reply to Poppy actually hurts.
“Just taking it all in. Plus, I’m not sure you really want to hear what I think of this guy,” I mutter as she smiles back at me, surprising me when she lets out a little giggle.
“It can’t be any worse than what I’ve been saying in my head for weeks, let me assure you,” Poppy replies.
“I wouldn’t bet on that.” Placing my hand over the top of hers, I squeeze it in anticipation of the emotions I’m about to bring up for her. It’s time to ask the question I’ve been wanting answered since I arrived in Boston that night.
“Can you tell me what you remember about what happened with Dean on the day of the fire?” And just like that, Poppy’s smile and playfulness are gone again.
“Ughhh.” She groans and looks at me with worry. “You’re not going to like it, but he tried to hit on me in the locker room.”
“Motherfucker,” I snap, and there is so much adrenaline surging inside me that I want to punch a wall. But I use every piece of strength I have to stay sitting so she’ll keep talking.
“Don’t worry, I told him to back off in no uncertain terms, and to make sure he understood, I slapped him across the face. Just to reinforce my point.” As she finishes, I recognize a sense of pride in her eyes at the memory of standing up for herself, against a man that had put so much self-doubt in her head with his words and actions.
“Yeah, baby!” I exclaim gruffly. “Proud of you, but you should have used a closed fist.”
“Landon.” Poppy rolls her eyes at me. “I couldn’t do that and you know it. I shocked myself with the slap.”
My girl is tough, and I love that part of her. But she’s right. She’s a lover, not a fighter.
“Maybe so, but if he ever puts me in a position again, that makes it impossible to walk away, I won’t just slap him. Sorry.” She has enough to deal with right now, so I won’t tell her that twice since I’ve met him, he’s tried to provoke me. Wanting to be the man Poppy deserves, I’ve walked away. But if there’s a third time, he might not be so lucky.
“Well, let’s make sure you’re never put in that position.” Poppy is probably thinking Dean won’t be in Boston, and I won’t be in Rochester again, but that remains to be seen for me. If Ihave my way, sometime in the future, I’ll be packing her up and bringing her home. And that home is my home, not Mrs. B’s next door.
“Good in theory,” I mumble. “What happened after the slap?”
“Oh, you’ll love this. His little twenty-year-old plaything came in, trying to be all tough and in my face. Accusing me of being jealous and trying to get him back. I wanted to laugh at how absurd her statement was. She couldn’t be more wrong. Instead, I told her in plain English that even she would understand, that I didn’t want him. Not now, not ever. That he was all hers.” Poppy smiles a little, which puts me at ease that talking about this isn’t triggering her.
“I think that’s called throwing away the trash.” Seeing her relax a little helps me to do the same.
“Anyway, then we were called to the fire, and that’s the last thing I remember.” The way she’s screwing up her face a little, I can see she’s thinking hard, but no memories are coming to her. Then the look of concentration gives way to one of pure frustration.
“I don’t understand my weird reaction to him, or my feelings toward my crew for that matter. And why the fuck is he calling me constantly, sending me messages and begging me to answer? He insists he doesn’t want to talk over messages. It’s relentless and makes no sense.” Now she’s looking to me for some kind of answer. But I don’t want to say what I’m thinking—that he feels guilty about something. Or maybe he’s worried that when she regains her memory, the events of that day will come to light, and he’ll be in trouble in some way.
I don’t want to push Poppy into talking more about Dean today. She has told me enough to confirm my suspicions. I’m convinced that Dean is somehow involved in her accident. Now I just need to work out how.
“Time will give us the answer. We just need to be patient and let your brain work through whatever it needs to. Don’t try to rush it. You’re here in Boston, safe, and you don’t need to see or talk to anyone you don’t want to. Maybe you should block Dean’s number temporarily while you’re here. Just until you find your feet.” I want to say block it permanently, but that can come later.
“That’s probably a good idea.” Pulling her phone from her bag that’s on the couch beside her, she opens up his contact and hits the block button. “That already makes me feel a little better, knowing I can’t even answer it by mistake.”
“Does he have your mom’s number?” I ask, worried he’ll try to reach her that way.
“No, she never really had much to do with him. They only met a few times when she came to Rochester to visit, but he never visited Boston with me. Always had an excuse.” As she says it, I’m sure we’re both thinking the same thing. Dean was probably sleeping around while Poppy was away.
“Good, then we don’t have to worry about him harassing your mom.” I sit back on my seat a little, letting her hand go. “Can I get you a water or a juice? It’s too early for a drink from the bar, but if you really need something stronger, I can break the rules just this once.” I stand and start walking to the small fridge in my office where we keep bottles of water. My mouth is starting to go dry. Reaching for the water, my brain is on overload sorting out the words I need for the rest of this chat.
