I’ve known Felix Walton for a few years because he used to be a liquor sales rep that came into the bar. Then one day in early January, he asked me if I had any night work at the bar. We didn’t have any jobs available right then, but we got talking, and I learned his dream was to become a teacher.
He’d been studying part-time at night to complete his qualifications he didn’t finish before. He’d slacked off as a teenager when he was at school, and his grades were terrible and he never graduated. So, he went back and redid it at night school so he could start studying at college to be a teacher. He’s been saving money so he could give up his day job but would still need some income to keep him going. I’d seen him interacting with my boys on occasion when I had them at work during the day and he stopped in to offer me some deal on liquor his supplier was stocking.
Kade and Nash took to him straight away, which helped them get over the sadness of Poppy leaving to go back home. They are still very attached to her and often FaceTime with her when they’re over at Mrs. B’s house. I’ve been there a few times when she’s called, or the boys have begged for a call with her, and I hate how awkward we are with each other.
Usually, her mom and my boys are on the call too, so I can’t say what I want or ask the questions I’m dying to know. So many times, late at night when I was lying in bed and struggling to sleep during those first few months since she left, my finger would hover over her number in my phone. My emotions rangedfrom wanting to call her just to hear her voice, or text her to check she was okay. But I knew if I did it once, then it would start something neither of us could finish. So instead, I would pull up one of the photos of her on my phone and jerk off while looking at her, pretending it was her hand on my cock, her voice talking dirty to me.
Mrs. B gives me a constant update on how Poppy is and how hard she’s working. She’s worried about her, which is something I understand. I doubt I will ever stop worrying about the boys, no matter how old they are. I don’t know that Poppy would be very happy with how detailed her mother is when she tells me about her life in Rochester. And to be honest, I almost put my fist through a wall the day she casually dropped that Poppy had been out on a date the night before. That was the night I came home from the bar, after that thought had been festering inside my head all day, and got drunk on port with Felix.
The next day I made the decision I had to move on. Poppy’s a friend, and that’s all she can be.
I forced myself to go on a few dates that Adrian had set me up on, which weren’t terrible, but they also weren’t anything special either. Instead, it was just easier to have one-night stands. Three, to be exact, but I always hated myself afterward. Now not only did I feel like I was cheating on Lucinda being with another woman, but it was also the pain of the disrespect I felt. To both Poppy and the woman I slept with, because the whole time I was just picturing my blonde-haired, blue-eyed Poppy and wishing like hell it was her. I picked a dark-haired woman every time, trying to push those thoughts from my head, but I kept failing miserably. I just felt like an awful person.
So, I’m back to how I was before Christmas. Living my life for my boys, a widower who doesn’t date, and hoping one day I’ll finally find someone who not only makes my heart race but fits into my life too.
I pull my car into one of the two reserved spots in the parking lot. Adrian’s two-door BMW is already parked in the other one. He doesn’t live far from the bar and walks here from his apartment during the day, but it’s safer at night to drive home.
We’re both working tonight because we have a bachelorette party booked in, and that definitely needs the two of us on shift.
Opening the door, I walk through the bar and see Charlene is here already.
“Hey, boss,” she calls to me. “I’m just setting up the VIP area for the bachelorette, and Adrian is in the office. Are you ready for a crazy night?” She starts laughing as she attaches the red rope to the gold posts we use as a barrier.
“Financially these bookings are great, but sometimes I could kill Adrian for hisamazingideas to bring in new business.” Rolling my eyes at her, I keep walking toward my office down at the end of the hall.
“Make sure you undo your top button and let flirty Landon out to play tonight, the tips will double,” she yells at my back as I walk away from her, and I can still hear her chuckling to herself as I open the office door.
“Hey.” Adrian looks up from the desk where he’s sorting out the cash floats and placing them in the cash drawers for tonight. I close the door as I reply.
“Hi.” I dump my car keys and black leather wallet in the top drawer where we both keep our private belongings while we’re working. I close and lock it again with the keychain I keep attached to my belt loop that holds the master keys to everything in this building. “And by the way, you’re on the bachelorette party tonight. I did the last one, so it’s your turn to get your ass smacked, groped in the crotch, and multiple phone numbers slipped into your pockets.”
“You say all that like it’s a bad thing. Man, when are we going to get you out of this slump? That liquor rep that replaced Felixhas been eyeing you up and down every time she comes in to see us. She’s gorgeous. Why don’t you ask her out?” He leans back in the chair and looks at me seriously.
“Can you not? I’m quite content with my life.” I pick up the cash drawers off the desk that he just finished filling.
“I call bullshit. This is your best friend you’re talking to. I know you better than you know yourself.” He smirks at me.
“If that was true, then you’d know why I’m not interested,” I answer and try to keep a straight face while I wait for his reply.
“I do, but I want to hear you say it. And if you try to tell me it’s because of the boys, I will have to call you a blatant liar.” Adrian pushes the chair back from the desk, then stands and walks around to me, placing his arm around my shoulder. “So don’t even bother opening your mouth. And just so you know, I’ll happily take one for the team with tonight’s women.”
“Of course you will.” I groan. “They don’t call you a manwhore for nothing.”
My comment earns me a shove between my shoulder blades which makes me stumble a little, trying not to drop the cash trays.
“Asshole,” I mumble at him as he opens the door, and I keep walking past him.
“That’s why you love me,” he jokes, following me out the door and closing it behind him.
“You wish,” I snap back at him. But we both know how much we love each other like brothers. I wouldn’t be in the position I am today if he weren’t the one who picked me up and kept me putting one foot in front of the other after Lucinda died.
And then just as we reach the main bar area, I start putting the cash drawers into the register while he walks over toward Charlene, and he calls back to me.
“Oh, and I may have given Helga, the stunning liquor sales rep that took over from Felix, a free entry pass for tonight witha couple of drink vouchers on your behalf.” He steps behind Charlene, pretending to use her as a human shield. “You’re welcome,” he adds.
“For fuck’s sake, you will pay for that. Karma’s a bitch, buddy, and I have a very, very long memory.” I’m fuming on the inside, but I don’t want to show it as I hear a couple of the staff arriving for their shift.
Now I have to work out how to let another woman down kindly thanks to my so-called best friend. He knows why I’ve sworn off women again, so why is he still pushing me to date?
