“My turn.” I place my hands on the top of her head, and with my fingers, run the shampoo all through her beautiful blonde locks, taking my time to concentrate on not just massaging her scalp but running my hands down over her body too. All I want to smell in our bed tonight is the soft subtle smell of this cherry-blossom shampoo, reminding me that she’s here, in my arms and totally safe.
The simple fresh scent of shampoo is soothing and helps to wipe away the trauma of tonight. It gives me a sense of renewed energy and hope, making me realize that I can rebuild the bar. Material things can be replaced, and the memories of Lucinda that we hold in our heart will never leave us. Lucinda lives on in both Nash and Kade every single day. That’s all I need to concentrate on now.
I can’t let losing the bar eat at me on the inside, using it as an excuse to let it drag me down again. I don’t want to go back to being miserable. Life has become better than that now. There have been so many times I could’ve lost Poppy this year, yet every time, she’s gotten back up and kept fighting. I need to do the same.
Because nothing else truly matters to me in this life, except for my deep love for Poppy, Nash, and Kade, our family of Mrs. B, Adrian, Autumn, Felix, and of course, our other friends that are in our lives. That’s what I need to be thinking about tonight as I lay my head down on the pillow, with Poppy wrapped tightly in my arms. Except it’s not tonight, it’s very much morning.
After rinsing clean and drying ourselves with fluffy towels, we both slide into bed and under the blanket.
Poppy immediately snuggles into my side in her usual sleeping position, and feeling her warm and wrapped around me has my heart finally slowing into a calm rhythm.
Putting my finger under her chin, I tilt her head up so I can see her face.
“I love you, Poppy Bertrum. The soft caring stepmom, the sexy woman who melts as I speak in just the right way, and the badass firefighter who jumped straight into action tonight. No fear or hesitation, you just did your job and saved my life. I love every single one of those parts of you. Please don’t give up firefighting, it’s who you are. I saw that tonight. Of course, I’ll worry every time you go to work, but I will also be so extremely proud of you.” My words have silent tears rolling down Poppy’s cheeks, but the smile on her face tells me they’re happy tears. “You are exactly where you’re meant to be, here with us, in Boston. So, let’s find you another firehouse close by so we can make the perfect life for you. Maybe you can go out and work while I be a stay-at-home dad for a while. I have some spare time now that I’m going to have to find something to do with.” I lean in and start kissing the tears off her cheeks.
“You want your Perfect Poppy back.” Her tears are subsiding, and I’m captivated by her big round blue eyes, as deep and beautiful as the ocean.
“My Perfect Poppy has been here all along. She just needed to realize that and stop hiding her true self.” Poppy drops her head and kisses me hard on the lips.
“Landon, I love you with all my soul. I know what I want in my life now, and I’m not settling for any less. My life is in Boston, with you and the boys. Living next door to my mom and going on stupid clothes shopping trips and giggly brunches with Autumn. I want to spend warm afternoons with Mom in her back garden while I’m listening to Kade and Nash play. To find a new firehouse to call home, and most of all, to do what I love to do, which is saving people’s lives. I’m good at being a firefighter, and I’m not letting Kyra or Dean ruin that for me.” She takes a deep breath and looks deep into my soul.
“And I want to help you rebuild Lucinda’s if you’ll let me. Together, with Adrian. That place is your home and where partof your heart lives. The same way I’m not letting an awful person keep me from my chosen passion, let’s not let it happen for you either. What do you say?” She looks at me, and I can’t help it. Tears are streaming down my cheeks.
“I don’t know what the plans will be for Lucinda’s, but whatever they are, I want to decide on them together, you, me, and Adrian. Sitting around our dining room table, plans spread out, while we’re eating pizzas and drinking a beer. Do we have a deal, that you’re going to be a Boston firefighter and I’m going to return to being the owner of an amazing rebuilt bar? What do you say?” I reach up and kiss her on the forehead.
“I say that no matter what we do, as long as we’re doing it together, then life will be as you said… absolutely perfect.”
Poppy kisses my forehead, lays her head back down on my chest, closes her eyes, and within minutes, I can hear that faint little snore she has. It reminds me how far we’ve come since that first night I laid eyes on her, walking into my living room to hear the same little snore.
For all the pain and turmoil we’ve lived through since we met, I’d do it all again if it brought us back to here.
So much for thinking I won’t be able to sleep. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer, which tells me it’s okay to step back for a moment and rest.
Our crazy life will still be here when we wake up, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.
Epilogue
4 months later
POPPY
“You didn’t warn me how hot as fuck you look in a uniform,” Landon whispers into my ear as he comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his chest.
I’ve been standing in our en-suite staring at myself in the mirror for about ten minutes, just sitting in the moment, because it’s so hard to believe that today is finally here.
Landon gives me a little squeeze of reassurance as he sees the water in my eyes that I’m trying not to let turn into tears.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks, and I nod.
“When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a firefighter, like my dad. But I never dreamed that one day I would be about to walk into his old firehouse as Lieutenant Poppy Bertrum of Station 27. The firehouse that not only was his home but was also the place that kept me safe when I needed it, and in turn gave me my beautiful life.” And my battle to keep the tears atbay is lost. “As soon as I put this uniform on this morning, ready for my first shift in my new job, it’s been a lot of emotion to process.” I rub over the Boston Fire Department logo on my shirt which is the same as what my dad wore. And beneath that same spot is my tattoo of his badge and number, together with my heart that is beating a little fast this morning.
“I know. It’s a big day for so many reasons, not just about your dad, and I think that’s why it feels a little overwhelming.” Landon’s deep voice calms my soul, as always. “But I want you to take a deep breath, and as you breathe it out, look at the woman you see in the mirror. Truly look at her, and I don’t just mean the blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful woman we all see. I want you to look deep into her soul.”
“Don’t make me cry, Landon.” I’m barely hanging on, with just a few tears trickling down my cheeks.
“While you’re looking, I’ll tell you who I see.” He reaches around and kisses my cheek before he starts.
“I see my beautiful girl who I love so much and am grateful to be able to say she’s mine. But I see so much more than just your undeniable beauty. I see strength, loyalty, honesty, kindness, and of course, resilience. Someone who has fought multiple demons and won. A stepmom with the biggest heart and so much patience for two boys who don’t always deserve it.” A smile lights up Landon’s face as he talks about Nash and Kade, and it makes me giggle thinking about how much of a handful they can be some days.
