Not by him, though. A handful of months ago, he would’ve jumped at the opportunity to further demonstrate how far he’d come without a single helping hand. But he’d only been away from Apeiron a matter of hours and he was already at breaking point.
The voice screaming inside that he’d made a mistake leaving Vayle and Angelos clamoured louder. What if she carried through with her threat to leave? Could he even blame her if she did?
‘Maybe later, thank you.’
He imagined Vayle’s wide, relieved smile at discovering he was here with Agnes and patted himself on the back. Brownie points with his wife were important.
Why, when it might not be enough to…to…?
His muscles tensed as the churning intensified. Damn it. The last time he’d walked a rope this tight was in that alley. But he’d come through that. He would come through this too. Put his past to bed, as Vayle had so passionately advocated. Maybe then he could finally seek greater pleasures.
Satisfied with that direction, he pinned his gaze on the woman who’d given him life then treated it so carelessly. And for a moment, he saw her—not the woman who’d disappeared fromhis life without a fight, but his mother. She was haunted and human. Flawed, as Vayle had insisted.
‘You’ve been avoiding me.’
‘I had practice,’ he replied. ‘You avoided me for half my childhood.’
Her breath hitched. ‘I deserve that.’
He didn’t deny it. He just let the silence stretch until it crackled.
‘So,’ he said, voice like glass, ‘Let’s get on with this. You’ve asked to see me often enough. Let’s talk.’
She swallowed, nodded. ‘Since the sin was mine, I guess I’ll start?’
It should’ve appeased him that she was finally taking the blame, but all Nelios felt was a deepening of that hollow in his soul. It took several moments of prying open that rage-filled emptiness, forcing himself to look into the chasm to recognise what he felt. Fury, yes. Pain, definitely. But…sorrow too, for all the wasted years.
‘Was it worth it?’ he asked, his voice weary. Another question he’d buried deep, pulling it out only when the demons won and he couldn’t fight the vault of pain.
Her mouth quivered. ‘In hindsight? No.’ Her voice was barely above a whisper. Then she shook her head. ‘That’s not quite true. This path I took, it brought me Vayle.’
His heart shredded. ‘A fair trade, I suppose. How lucky for you to be able to toss one child away and pick up—’
‘Stop saying that! I never tossed you away. We always planned to come back for you. At least, I did. Always.’ Her voice brimmed with the kind of certainty that battered his fury.
‘There were so many ways you could’ve ensured what happened to me didn’t happen. Even at twelve, I could’ve told you that. And, you forget, I overheard everything you and Apostolis discussed. There was never a second, third or fourthoption. You chose foster care, without doing your due diligence or even caring where I landed.’
He stopped, collected himself. ‘I want to know why,’ he said at last, low and controlled. The kind of quietness that masked years of rage. ‘Why you left me. Why you, my mother, chose to trust a complete stranger with your son’s wellbeing. Then you got on a plane and forgot all about him.’
Agnes flinched—actually flinched. ‘It wasn’t that simple.’
‘No?’ He stepped closer, gaze hard. ‘Because from where I stood—alone, confused, in a stranger’s care—it looked very simple.’
Her hands trembled around her tea cup. ‘You were never supposed to stay in foster care. The woman was recommended by Apostolis’s friend. He owned a care company. And it was only meant to be temporary, just a few months, while things settled.’
He laughed then, sharp and humourless. ‘“While things settled”. You mean until your pockets were fat enough? Did you even bother to call to check on me?’
‘Yes. I called the foster carer once a week, every week.’ Her face crumbled. ‘I was told it was best not to speak to you myself and unsettle you, as you were already making friends…’
‘Of course, you believed her. You wanted your conscience appeased.’
Her lips trembled and she didn’t even need to confirm that. He saw it written all over her face.
‘I thought you were happy, and the situation at the hotel was extremely challenging. I expect Vayle has told you about her father?’
‘Another monster who shouldn’t have been allowed to sire children.’
‘Parakaló, don’t say that,’ she begged.
