She rolled her eyes and slid over the bench of my pickup truck. “Not if you want to win, Coach.”
I definitely wanted to win ...her.
Chapter 25
Antonia
I parked and stared at the hospital. It was five floors, painted in a brownish-yellow color with what I assumed would be colorful landscaping when spring arrived. The main doors and emergency room entrance were around the corner from each other, which should tell people this place was small.
Staff and visitors moved in and out, and an ambulance pulled into the bay. I watched as one paramedic got out and opened the back door, and then a stretcher appeared, along with another medic. They moved slowly, though, not in any rush to get their patient inside, and I wondered why they’d had to bring in whoever it was in the first place.
I finally resigned myself to getting out of the car and going into my temporary office. Miri was already inside, hooked up to whatever she needed so they could pump copious amounts of drugs into her body. What they ought to have done was feed her, since she hadn’t eaten a meal in weeks. I got that the medicine made her sick, but not eating was making her fragile body even weaker.
How was she supposed to fight and win if she couldn’t keep anything down?
“Because she isn’t going to win,” I said to the parked cars as I walked past.
It’d been two and a half weeks since Miri had called me in the middle of the day to tell me she was sick and that I needed to come. I’d now done two Monday mornings with groggy kids determined to make me pull my hair out because they couldn’t move fast enough, despite being up on time. The constant rush of little humans was exhausting.
And yet, time was moving like molasses.
Every day, eight hours seemed like sixteen. By the time I’d dragged myself back to the house last week, I’d barely eaten dinner before tucking Nova into bed. If it weren’t for people like my mom, Weston, and Mara’s mom, I didn’t know how I’d manage. Whoever said it takes a village to raise a family—they weren’t joking. I knew I was going to have to figure things out because my mom couldn’t keep coming up to Grove Hill to stay, even though she’d never tell me otherwise. She had a life and a job back home, and as much as I wanted to keep her to myself, my dad missed her.
The elevator ride to Miri’s floor was slow, stopping on each floor to let people off and on. By the time we reached the fourth, we were crammed in the small box like a can of sardines. Not that I knew what a can of sardines actually looked like, but if I had to guess, this was it.
I sighed heavily when the number five lit up on the panel above and made my way to the door, barely escaping before they closed. As I walked by the nurses’ station, we greeted each other like lifelong friends, and I supposed if I was going to live here, I might as well add them to my list of people.
I didn’t know if I could do their job. Not only did they have to memorize all the complex medical words, but they also had to know medical procedures, lifesaving techniques, and which meds could go together, all while maintaining their decency as humans. I’d lost count of how many times I’d wanted to stay in the bathroom and cry. Their scrubs were cute, and they looked wicked comfortable, although I could never get on board with the shoes they wore.
Miri was asleep when I entered her room. I set my stuff down on the extra table the nurses made sure was in here for me and tookmy laptop out of my bag, only for my phone to ring. Brendan’s name showed on my screen. I wanted to send him to voicemail, but it was a workday, and I felt like getting paid.
While rushing out of her room, I slipped my earbuds in and accepted the call. “This is Toni,” I said, acting professionally.
“It’s Brendan.”
“Hi, what’s up?”
“Can you do a virtual today, around three?”
This could’ve been an email. I tapped my screen and looked at my calendar. Cutter had practice after school, so I didn’t have to rush home for him, and my mom was still here to get Nova off the bus.
“Yes, that works. My calendar should be updated for you to see.”
“It is ... but I wanted to talk to you.”
“About work?”
“No, Toni. About us.”
There wasn’t an us anymore.
“I know you’re upset with me, and I get it. Miriam’s important to you, but I want you to think about what you’re giving up if you decide to become guardian of her children. Nova’s what, five? Do you really want to raise someone for the next thirteen years? And how will you pay for Cutter to go to college? I really want you to think about this because it affects both of us.”
I saw red. Was he serious? I didn’t know which tidbit to tackle first.
“Brendan, you asked if I was choosing the kids over you, and I said yes. I didn’t hesitate or second-guess myself. This is where I want to be, with them, guiding them through life the way their mom would’ve wanted. Cutter and Nova are a part of my life and always have been. They’re not going away. They need me as much as I need them. As far as us ...” I inhaled deeply and stared out the window, into the parking lot. “My heart isn’t broken because you’re not in my life, Brendan. I think we haven’t loved each other for a long time and were just comfortable in our relationship.”
“I do love you.”
