“What if I keep my door open?”
I had to give Cutter credit, because I would’ve asked the same thing. Any alone time I could’ve gotten with any of my boyfriends would’ve been a disaster. Thankfully, my parents had known of my wily ways. My siblings and I had strict rules in the house, although those rules didn’t apply when I was at someone else’s house. Honestly, I was lucky I hadn’t found myself in the same situation as Miri, especially since we both gravitated toward the “bad” guys.
Miri shook her head, and while I couldn’t see her eyes, I imagined they rolled. “Not allowed upstairs means not allowed upstairs.”
Cutter did, in fact, roll his eyes. Oh, to be sixteen again. He and his girlfriend had already gotten into trouble at school, and Miri had mentioned that Eleni’s parents were strict, which told me if these two wanted to get into trouble, they’d find a way.
“Fine. But she can come over for dinner?”
Miri nodded.
“Thanks, Mom.” Cutter bolted from the room, slamming the door on his way out. Miri jumped, the loud bang startling her. She stared at the space where her son had stood. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through her mind. How would someone start to process the fact that they were dying and might not live to see the milestones every parent looked forward to seeing?
“Do you want some tea?”
Miri shook her head. “Tea can’t fix this.”
True, but it would be nice if it could. This was how our school nurse would fix whatever ailed us—with herbal tea, which was heranswer for everything. It didn’t matter if we had a nosebleed, cramps, or a broken arm; she offered us tea.
My phone beeped with a text from Brendan:How are things going?
The question made me want to laugh. I knew he was being sincere, but how did he think things were going? There was a giant elephant in the room, with a blinking neon sign, telling me my best friend was dying and there wasn’t jack shit I could do about it. Nor could he. To make matters worse, Miri and I needed to have the talk about what would happen after she was gone.
I felt bad for telling him to stay home, because I knew he wanted to help, but with my mom here, things were crowded. Plus, Brendan preferred for us to stay in a hotel or a bed-and-breakfast, and there was no way I’d leave Miri.
I typed back:Things are ... sad.
I looked at my words and fought back my tears before I sent the message.
Brendan responded right away:Will you be in the office on Monday?
The question gave me pause. I glanced at Miri, who held a book in her hand, but I couldn’t tell if she was reading or not. Could I leave her? Could I go back to my life and leave my mom to take care of her?
No, I couldn’t.
I typed back:No. I’ll call you later to discuss.
“Brendan’s going to want to come visit,” I told Miri as I put my phone down. “He’s already tried, and I told him to wait.”
“Do you love him?”
Her question caught me off guard. “Yes,” I said after a brief pause. “Why?”
Miri shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I see you, I see him, and then I see the two of you together, and you’re different when he’s around. On edge.”
I’d been with Brendan for years, and she had never mentioned anything.
“Do you not like him?”
I don’t know why I asked. It wasn’t like I could change the situation now.
Miri looked at me. Her eyes were wet and shimmering with tears. Ever since she’d been given the news, she’d done nothing but cry. Not that I blamed her. In private, it was all I was doing as well. The shower took the brunt of my anger, sadness, and frustration.
“He’s not who I would’ve chosen for you,” she said as she reached for my hand. “But I see why you’re with him.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because he’s in your world.”
