My best friend was Flinn Langston, and we were nothing alike, which worked for us because we never had to compete against each other. He was into skateboarding and snowboarding, while I was into basketball and baseball. For whatever reason, our friendship worked well.
Though I was close with most of my teammates, I only confided in Flinn. I trusted him to keep my secrets and not steal my girlfriend, Eleni. A couple of my teammates liked to flirt with her, which pissed me off. My mom said as long as Eleni didn’t flirt back, I should ignorethe other guys for the sake of the team. I didn’t always agree with my mom, but I did listen.
I followed Toni out of the gym, staying a couple steps behind her. There had been a time in my life when I called her “Ant Toni” instead of “Aunt Toni” because I thought it was funny since her name was Antonia. I didn’t remember when I started calling her just “Toni,” but I knew it had hurt her feelings. She wasn’t really my aunt. And the grandma she’d referred to earlier was her mom—no relation to me whatsoever.
Nova and I didn’t have any family except for our mother, and now I was pretty sure something was wrong with her.
As we approached the car, the back window went down, and my little sister stuck her head out. “Cutter!” She waved like we hadn’t seen each other this morning.
“Hey,” I said as I opened the back door.
“Do you want to put your bag in the trunk?” Toni asked. Without giving me the option, she pressed the key fob and opened the trunk. I walked over, put my bag in there, and then slammed the lid shut. Nova opened the back door and moved over for me.
“Grandma’s here,” she said as she pointed to the front seat. Toni’s mom turned and smiled at me.
“Such a handsome young man,” Carmela said.
I rolled my eyes but gave her the crooked smile I knew she loved. With her here, I thought I’d play it to my advantage. “Grandma, Toni won’t let me drive.”
Grandma’s eyebrows went up, but Toni shook her head. The tension in the car was thick, and I’d probably made it worse.
“Not tonight, Cutter.” Toni sighed heavily as she shut her door.
Yep, something was definitely wrong. There was no snark from her. No promise of being able to drive later or Brendan coming up to take me driving. “Where are we going?”
“To see Mommy. She has a boo-boo.”
I rolled my eyes at Nova’s baby speak. “Talk like a big girl, okay?”
Nova nodded.
“What’s wrong with our mom?”
“Cutter, you were right. Your mom hasn’t been feeling good, so she’s in the hospital for the night. We’re going to go see her. She misses you and Nova,” Toni said as she put her car into drive and pulled out of the parking spot. Through the side mirror, I watched my high school fade into the dark abyss of nothingness and wondered if I would be back tomorrow or the next day.
Toni turned the volume up on the stereo, and Nova sang along to some pop song. I knew the words but couldn’t recall who sang it. My phone vibrated, and I took it out of my pocket to see a text message from Eleni asking me how practice was. I told her it was fine and put my phone away. I would call her later, after I did my homework.
“Can I take pictures on your phone?” Nova asked. I wanted to tell her no but didn’t want to upset her. I took it out of my pocket again and checked my notifications to make sure there wasn’t anything inappropriate on there from one of the guys. They liked to send ridiculous memes that my mom wouldn’t approve of.
Nova took my phone and opened the photo-sharing app. She took a picture and sent it to my contacts. I didn’t mind. My friends were used to Nova sending them photos. Most of them were funny. After each picture, she changed the filter and took more pics. Notifications came in from friends that Nova knew she could answer. Eleni and Flinn would send back funny pictures to Nova. She showed them to me, and I laughed with her and posed for some.
My mood shifted when Toni pulled into the hospital parking lot. She parked, and the four of us got out of the car. Grandma held Nova’s hand, and we followed Toni into the hospital. We waited for the elevator in silence and then rode up to the fifth floor. We didn’t have to stop to check in or ask what room my mom was in. My suspicion grew. My mom was definitely here yesterday, which was why Toni had come up unexpectedly. Which also meant Toni had lied to us.
The door we stopped at was slightly ajar. Toni pushed it open, and we followed. The TV was on, but the volume was low. My mom saton the bed, wearing her favorite ratty sweatshirt with a faded Boston University logo on it. I looked around and realized I hadn’t ever been in a hospital room before. Were they all the same, with white walls, tan bedding, and brown chairs? Or did each hospital decide on an assorted color scheme?
Two years ago, Mom let us paint our bedrooms as part of the remodeling job she was doing that was also never ending. Nova’s room was pink, with a dark-purple-and-blue wall meant to look like outer space. The solar system was also painted on her wall.
My room was mostly white, except for the green wall I’d painted to look like grass. Mom helped me paint a baseball diamond on the wall, which I thought was pretty neat. It was something she’d seen on a do-it-yourself show.
Nova ran toward our mom and hopped up onto her bed. They hugged each other tightly. My mom watched me for a bunch of seconds before she closed her eyes and gave her attention to my sister. I tried to step forward, but my eyes landed on one of the machines near the bed. I followed the tubing, and my heart lurched when it ended in my mom’s hand. How sick was she?
“Are you going to just stand there?” she said, her voice breaking through my thoughts. “You had a good game last night,” she stated. “I read the paper this morning, and Toni sent me a ton of videos.”
“Thanks.” I moved forward an inch or so and then stopped. Grandma and Toni were on the other side of the room. Grandma sat in the ugly brown chair, while Toni perched on the windowsill. She wasn’t looking at us but outside.
“How come you haven’t texted me?”
“I’ve been trying to rest so I can get better,” she said, but I suspected this was a lie. “And my hand hurts.” She lifted the hand where her IV was. I nodded, but I didn’t buy her excuse for a second.
