“Isn’t that exactly what you did when Miller was young? Gave up your career and started coaching college?”
He thinks it over for a moment before exhaling a small laugh. “Well, maybe I’m not so great at being selfish after all.”
He’s so good. So kind. So grumpy when he needs to be, and I just want to protect him and make sure he gets everything he wants out of life. Coaching forthisteam. Living inthiscity.
He and I will never be more than that one kiss, but at least I have the power to make sure the two things he wants out of life continue to happen for him. And in that sense, holding his future in my hands doesn’t feel like a burden. It feels like a privilege.
“Especially now,” Emmett says. “After that little announcement today, I’m not going anywhere.”
I can’t help but smile thinking about his reaction. How sweet he was with her, how excited he was for both of them.
I playfully nudge his shoulder with mine and that’s when I realize the distance we were trying to keep between us has practically all been eaten up. But we’re far enough down the walkway that I don’t know if anyone back at the house could see us anyway.
“Did you know they were wanting a second?” I ask.
“Yeah, I knew they wanted Max to have a sibling close in age. They’re getting married later this summer, but Miller isn’t exactly the traditional type. Her being pregnant at her wedding is pretty on-brand for her.”
The more I hear about her, the more I like her.
“Good for her. She knows what she wants and doesn’t care what other people think.”
“She is excellent at not giving a shit about what other people think.” Emmett chuckles. “Not sure if that’s an only child thing or just a Miller thing.”
We continue to walk, but he closes even more distance between us, his arm rubbing my shoulder every few strides.
“Did you ever want more kids?” I ask.
Looking up, I find him smiling to himself.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “I like that you said, ‘more kids’ instead of ‘your own.’ You have no idea how many times people have asked me if I wanted to have kids of my own.”
“What a strange perception of your relationship with your daughter. Have they not seen you two together?”
“That’s always bugged me. Especially when it was said in front of her. But to answer your question, no. I never wanted to have more kids.”
I nod in understanding, assuming that part of the conversation is done.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why not?”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” I say simply. “Whenever I tell people I don’t see myself having kids they love to back that up with endless questions. So, unless you want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”
The smile on his face is soft as he watches me, walking at my side. “I’ve never talked to anyone about this, so maybe I do.”
“Then please, explain yourself.”
He breathes a small laugh. “I first want to say that I love being Miller’s dad. Best thing I’ve done with my life.”
“Emmett, that’s obvious. You don’t have to preface anything.”
“But I kind of got thrown into the deep end then spent a solid thirteen years drowning, trying to figure out how the hell to be a parent. And on top of it, how to do it alone. It was exhausting and scary but also really fucking rewarding. And I am so beyondgrateful that Claire chose me. But there’s another side of me that’s also looking forward to figuring out who I am outside of just being a parent. Miller has her own family now, and doesn’t need me in the same way, and that’s terrifying. But that’s also really exciting. And I know I’m not making any sense right now.”
“You are. You made a lot of sacrifices at a very young age that you were happy to make, but you’re also allowed to be excited to live your life for yourself, Em.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “Yeah, I think that’s exactly what it is.”
“And just so you know, you did an excellent job on your first try. Thrown into the deep end or not.”
