That’s the only dread that finds me today. The realization that my own company no longer compares to his.
I may have no idea what I’m doing or how I’m going to go about keeping Emmett on my staff, but one thing I’m certain of is that he’s the biggest risk I’ve ever taken and simultaneously the surest decision I’ve ever made.
I just need to figure out the rest.
My pregame visit to the dugout was short-lived. There were too many players milling about that I knew it wasn’t safe for me to stay long. I couldn’t keep a straight face around Emmett today if I tried. Not when images of his tattooed hands gripping my hips to help me move on top of him are replaying on a loop in my mind. I can’t look at the man without thinking of last night. Without hearing his sounds. Without seeing that grateful expression he wore as we laid together afterward.
And anyone with eyes would see the shift between us today. It’s too fresh. Too obvious.
So, I hid in my suite and have stayed here for the entirety of the game.
We’re heading into the bottom of the ninth with a tied game and possible extra innings ahead of us. But the way we’ve played today has me shockingly hopeful and energized.
You’d think I would be tired. Ishouldbe tired. Sleep was sparse last night, but the hours I did get were deep and restful. The kind of sleep you get after working your body to the bone all day.
Or alternatively, the kind of sleep you get after being fucked so well you’re not sure how your legs still work.
I cross said legs, watching the game from my suite above the third baseline.
It’s the start of a home series against Boston, and we need a win. After a rough couple of weeks, we all just need a win.
We’ve played well. Our starting pitcher went deep into the game, and our defense has been on point. But it’s the hits thathave been lacking on both sides, keeping a score of 1-1 in the bottom of the ninth.
The sun has long set. The fans are still filling the seats, but they’re growing restless with the lack of scoring today. And even with a glass wall of windows separating us, I can still feel their frustration when Boston’s closer strikes out our first two batters of the inning.
Then that frustration quickly shifts to a collective dread when the crowd realizes that Milo is next in the lineup.
I notice a lot of them looking around, as if they’re contemplating calling it a night, since it’s already late, or staying for the extra innings. As if those extra innings are inevitable because of their lack of faith in the new guy on the team.
I find myself briefly allowing those same thoughts before I catch myself. I know what he’s capable of. It’s why he’s here.
The first pitch is a slider and a strike.
The crowd groans.
Milo steps out of the box and even from here, I can see the change in his demeanor from the last game he played. He’s calmer. He’s able to collect himself.
The second pitch is a fastball, and Milo gets a solid swing on the ball. It sails deep. The fans gasp. It’s deep enough to be a run, but at the last second, the ball curves wide outside the foul pole in right field.
Two strikes.
Milo steps out of the box again, and this time turns to Emmett in the dugout. I can’t hear what Emmett says to him, but whatever it is Milo takes it in, nods to himself, then repositions himself at the plate.
I don’t need to know what he said. I know Emmett. The guy is steady. Steady enough for everyone around him.
The typical anticipation for a tied game in the bottom of the ninth is lacking tonight. It feels as if everyone in this crowd has counted Milo out already.
But then he decides to prove everyone wrong on the third pitch he’s given.
The crack of the bat is sharp. It practically screams at the crowd to pay attention to him.
It sails deep, deep, deep into left field.
Boston’s pitcher stands with his hands on his hips as we all watch the ball sail over the fence and into the bleachers.
The stadium erupts. The added shock to their elation causing an insane buzz throughout the building. It’s deafeningly loud in here as Milo tosses his bat to the side and starts his jog to round the bases.
Because he not only got his first hit in the majors, but he just got us a walk-off win.
