“Yeah, okay. Well, I’ll be there to get her in a few days to take her shopping. I’ll follow up with you when I’m coming.” I disconnected the call before she got the chance to say anything else. As much as I loved my daughter, I wished I had made better choices with who I lay down with. Tiana wasn’t worth the headache, but I would be damned if she tried to fuck up my relationship with my child. After I got off the phone, I took Lyric and Noodle shopping. They really didn’t need anything, but Iwanted to spoil them a little bit. It was one of the perks of being a rich ass nigga.
A Few Days Later
“How are you feeling about running into your baby daddy? You’ve been really quiet the last few days, and I’m surprised. I expected you to be freaking out or something. You seem cool as a cucumber,” Nova questioned.
“I don’t have a reason to feel anything. It caught me off guard because I wasn’t expecting to see him. I thought he was still locked up, but I guess that's what happens when you lose touch with someone.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to pretend as if I wasn’t feeling the effects of Keynauri’s return.
The moment I locked eyes with him, my world stopped. I imagined the moment a million times in my head, and it never played out the way I wanted it to. For some reason, I carried afantasy that he would get out of prison, come find me, and we would reconnect as if we had never been apart. It may have been a bit far-fetched, given the way things left off with us, but it was the vision I had in my head.
Imagine my surprise seeing the man I used to consider a hero performing on stage without a care in the world. On one hand, I was incredibly proud of him for making his dreams come true, but it was crushing to know he never bothered to come for me. I shook my head to rid the thoughts running through my mind. It was obvious that I was the last thing on his mind, and I needed to return the energy.
“There you go, going quiet on me again. You must have forgotten I’ve been your friend for most of your life. I can tell when you are trying to mask your true feelings. My only question is why? I know you and Keynauri’s history, so I won’t judge you for how you feel.”
“What do you want me to say, Nova? The truth is, I’m trying to push my feelings to the back burner so I don’t crash out. I’m pissed, hurt, and every other emotion you could imagine. I held him down as best as I could, but he decided he no longer had any use for me. Now, I see he’s made a life for himself as a popular artist, and I don’t know what to think. I’m happy for him, but there’s a part of me that wants to go smash the windows out of all of his cars and flatten his tires,” I replied coolly. Nova’s mouth hung open before a smirk graced her face.
“Hey, you know I'm always down for some ratchet ass shit. I can unblock Logic and slide into his inbox and find out where he lives if you want. I’ll pretend you want to surprise him and come visit. I have a ski mask and a pair of black gloves in the trunk of my car. Hell, there’s a crowbar and some bleach and sugar back there, too,” Nova revealed. My eyes squinted as I stared at her.
“Umm, friend. Why the hell do you have all of those things in your car?”
“You know, I used to be a little toxic back in my day. You never know when you’ll have to slash a few tires and pour some sugar in a nigga’s tank. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, but some things are like muscle memory. All you’ve gotta do is say the word, and we can pull up on them. Introduce him to the new Ari.”
I snickered, even though I knew she meant everything she said. I thought about it for a moment, but what good would it do? Keynauri was now a part of my past, and that was where he needed to stay. It was clear he had left me in his rearview a long time ago.
“I’ll let you know, friend. For now, I’m tryna figure out if I even want to address him at all. Obviously, there are some things we need to discuss, but I don’t even know if I want to,” I admitted.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was afraid of what it would mean for my future, but I loved Keynauri so much that I thought we could still by a family, even though he couldn’t be there physically. . I never imagined he would be locked up or that he would completely abandon me and cut off all communication. When he told me to get an abortion, I only agreed out of anger. The moment I got home and calmed down, I changed my mind. I couldn’t bring myself to take the life of the baby we created from love. Even though it was young love, it was still love, nonetheless.
When I left the prison that day, my world felt as if it had been flipped upside down. I told my momma about my pregnancy and Keynauri cutting me off. She was disappointed in the beginning, but she made it clear she would do whatever to make sure my life wasn’t completely ruined because of it. Once she got her new job offer, she moved us out of Liberty Heights. She said she did it to give us both a fresh start, and I didn’t argue with her, because I needed a change.
When I found out I was carrying twins, it only made me want to go harder. There were two little people who were depending on me, and I couldn’t let them down. My mother helped me enroll in a local college and made sure I had everything I needed to succeed. My mother hadn’t been perfect by any means, but she never allowed me to fall, no matter what. Since I could only work part-time due to school, I qualified for free childcare as well as housing. A year after the twins were born, I moved into my own place and used my income tax money to buy my first car. Momma didn’t agree at first, but she knew I needed to learn how to be independent. I appreciated her being there for me because being a new mother came with more obstacles than I ever imagined. She supported me without being overbearing, and I was thankful for her. Our relationship wasn’t always the best, but she loved my kids and helped me with them whenever I needed her.
When I made the decision to keep my baby, I prepared to be a single mother. After my first ultrasound, I almost passed out when they told me I was having twins. One baby was hard, but two babies seemed impossible. I solidified my decision because those two lives were assigned to me for a reason and I refused to let them down.
Keyaire and Kiaya were the blessings I never knew I needed. The two of them helped me to transition into the woman I needed to be. They pushed me to work hard so I could give them a better life than the one I had. While I loved my mother with my whole heart, I never wanted to struggle the way she did. A lot of her struggles were due to her poor ion-making, but it still had a negative effect on me. I lived on energy drinks and coffee for two years, but I was able to get an associate’s degree in business. I knew early on in life I wanted to have my own business. Growing up with bad acne, I went through so many different products to clear my skin. The process fascinated me and led me to researchour skin and the causes of certain skin reactions. I decided to go back to school to become an esthetician so I could help women with their skin and assist them with becoming the best version of themselves. I was in the process of launching my skin care line after years of research and trial and error.
“You know I used to be toxic. Well, I’m still in recovery because sometimes these niggas like to play crazy. I like to let them know I can get right on their level if needed.” Nova shrugged, making me giggle.
“I think I’ll hold off on being toxic. As much as I would love to knock him upside the head, I’ll settle for a simple conversation. At the end of the day, we’re parents, and I want the twins to have the opportunity to get to know their father, if that’s what he wants.”
“How do you think he’ll react to them? Do you think he’s gonna be upset?” Nova asked the question I had been wrestling with for a long time.
“I don’t know, honestly. He’ll probably be upset that I went against his wishes, but I never asked him to help me, so I don’t see why he should have an issue. I tried to tell him when I wrote him those letters, but he sent them back. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
“Momma. Can we go in Champs and see if they have the new Marquan Roberts sneakers?” Keyaire asked. He may have only been six years old, but he was already a sneaker head. I blamed it on my brother, Naymire. He made sure Keyaire got a new pair of shoes whenever he got some. Now he was obsessed with sneakers and even had his own collection that was stacked in containers in his closet.
“Why don’t you wait until you go with Uncle Mire?” We had been shopping for an hour, and I didn’t want to step inside of another store.
“He’s back at school, Momma. I want them now.” Keyaire poked his lip out, melting my heart instantly.
“Alright. I guess it won’t hurt to look.” My stomach growled, letting me know I needed to get some food in my system soon. The moment we got to the store, I cringed at the long line. It was a Saturday, so I expected it to be busier than normal, but I wasn’t expecting the line to be out of the door. My eyes rolled, instantly regretting my decision.
“Yeah, I’m gonna go grab a pretzel while y’all wait in this long ass line. You want to come with me, Kia?” Nova asked my little girl. She nodded her head so fast I thought it would snap off.
“I can’t believe you’re gonna leave me here in this long line,” I hissed. Nova flipped her hair over her shoulder, completely unbothered by my attitude.
“Look, by the time we get back, y’all should be inside the store, and I’ll be happy to fight the crowd with you, but I’m hungry, and I need something to hold me over. I promise, we’ll be right back.”
“Fine. Bring me some cinnamon bites with icing.”
