When I came home, I hit the ground running and never looked back. I thought about Naiari, but I figured she was better off without me. I guess I hadn’t considered how things would look to her.
“Man, I don’t know what to do. Last night, she called me a fraud.
She said she didn’t want my apologies after I abandoned her and started a new life.” If only she understood how complicated life had been for me.
“Well, you can’t blame her. We may know the truth, but she doesn’t. All she knows is that you were in prison, you broke up with her, and now you’re a famous rapper. She has no idea what type of sacrifices you had to make in order to be where you are right now.” My jaw flexed thinking about the choices I made all those years ago. At first, I thought it was the best decision for all of us, but seeing Cocoa last night reminded me how much my decisions truly cost me.
“This shit is crazy. I never thought I would see her again, and to know that she hates me is a punch to the gut if I’m honest. The moment I laid eyes on her, all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms. To have her so close to me and not be able to comfort her burned me up.” There were so many things I chose to bury years ago, because they were too painful for me to face while I servedmy sentence. Now it felt like everything was coming back to me all at once, and it overwhelmed me.
“You need to sit down and tell her the truth. She has the right to know the whole truth. Lay it all on the table so that she can decide with all of the facts.”
“Here you go, sir.” My chef, Natalia, set my plate in front of me.
“Would you like me to fix a plate for you as well, Mr. Brooks?” she asked Logic, who eagerly took a seat next to me.
“Yes, please. I need bigger portions than his ass, though. I’m not on a diet.”
I chuckled, taking a moment to pray over my food. I never understood the point of blessing your food as a youngin, but after all the hell I’d endured, I learned to pray for and over any and everything in my life.
“Can I get a glass of OJ, too? This nigga over here sippin’ tea like somebody’s frail ass granny.” Logic huffed.
“Bro, fuck you. Don’t worry about what I have going on. I’m trying to take care of my body and stay fit and healthy. You’re gonna fuck around and be walking around with man boobs and a beer belly if you don’t take better care of yourself,” I explained. That was another thing I picked up in prison.
There wasn’t much to do in there to occupy your time, so I worked out multiple times a day. The food they served us had no nutritional value, so I tried to make the most of what I had. Once I got out, I went on a raw diet for a month to completely reset my system. I wasn’t obsessive about my health, but I made it a priority. My team already had a tour planned for me, so I needed to make sure my body and vocals were prepared.
“You sound crazy. I might not eat the best, but I’ll be damned if I let myself get that damn big. Damn, this French toast is bussin.” Logic stuffed more food in his face as if it were his last meal.
“When are you gonna reach out to her again?” I dropped my fork on my plate when he asked that question.
“I’m not sure if I should. Based on the way she reacted, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Yeah, I could explain everything that happened, but then what? We can’t get the last seven years back. Plus, she has a man, so it’s not like we can pick up where things left off.” When she mentioned having a man, it made me sick to my stomach. I had no right to feel that way, but it was the truth.
“Naw, you’re tripping. You don’t even sound like my brother. Since when did you start giving up so easily? I don’t even know who you are, talking crazy like this.”
“I don’t know. I guess I need to take some time to think about it.” It was too early to have a drink, but the thought crossed my mind.
“Fatima said that she’s been trying to get in touch with you all morning. Where is your phone?” Logic inquired.
I rarely used my phone unless it was for him, East, Lyric, or business, so it was never a priority for me. When the first batch of notifications came through last night, I turned my phone off. I was with everyone I normally talked to, so I saw no need to keep it on. Plus, I was still adjusting to this newfound fame. Every day, I woke up to a dozen messages from various strangers asking for money, dates, and everything in between. My social media manager handled all the valid opportunities and connections, so I never bothered to respond to anyone.
“It’s in my room, inside the nightstand.” I shrugged, getting up to clear my plate, rinsing it as well, even though my housekeeper would be here to clean up in the afternoon.
“You are a different breed for sure. Most people would be glued to their phones to see all of the updates and reactions, but you’re in here moping and eating breakfast as if it’s a normal day.”
“It is. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I feel blessed and fortunate to be where I am in life, but I don’t want to spend my time obsessing over what other people have to say.” My team is happy with the way the reveal played out, so I guess that’s cool. I couldn't care less about that shit.
“Would you like some more tea, Princess Symphonee?” My niece giggled as I held up the teacup. With my work schedule, I couldn’t be with her as much as I wanted, so I made sure to make the most of our time together.
“Yes, please? I need a scone too,” Her little voice could melt the hardest gangster’s heart. She was only five but smart as hell.
“Look at my two pretty princesses.” Lyric snickered as she walked into the room.
“Aye, watch out. There’s only one princess in this room. Don’t get your head knocked off,” I warned as I got up from the tiny pink chair that baby girl forced me to sit in. My back was on fire from being so low to the ground.
“Yeah, right. You’ve never even raised your voice at me.”
“Whatever, man. Come on, Noodle.” I reached for Symphonee, who wasted no time leaping into my arms. We headed to the kitchen for a snack and a juice pouch for myself and my baby girl. Lyric followed behind as she caught me up on her week.
“She is too big for you to carry. Her spoiled ass can walk.” Lyric grumbled, but I paid her no mind.
