Raffa knew everything, Rose realised. His team must have filled him in. How it must have hurt him to be reminded of the dangers of drink. The fury she could see in his eyes was that of a much younger man. He was remembering a tragedy from years back. The incident with her father had only increased his pain tenfold.
‘Will you stay home twenty-four-seven to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself—or you?’ he raged. ‘Are you prepared to sacrifice everything you’ve worked so hard for? How do you intend to magic up the money for his care? And he will need care. Your father needs professional help, Rose. You can’t help him, or you’d have done it long before now.’
‘I can love him,’ she countered fiercely. ‘And Máire’s offered to help—they were at school together. She’s one of the few people he trusts, and her sons can handle him until I find him the type of care he needs.’ Touching Raffa’s arm to reach him, to offer him consolation, only resulted in him shaking her off.
‘That’s a very kind offer from a neighbour, but you know it’s only a short-term solution. What about your job with me, Rose?’
‘Can we talk outside?’ She understood why Raffa sounded so harsh, and why there was no warmth in his eyes, so it was a relief when he agreed.
She led the way, and didn’t stop walking until they’d left the farmyard behind, and were at least half a mile down the road. There was a tree that looked a bit like an umbrella. It acted as a sunshade in the summer. Today it was a leaky umbrella, and Rose hadn’t thought to bring a coat.
‘Here. Take this,’ Raffa growled when she hugged herself and shivered. Shrugging off his jacket, he draped it around her shoulders. It still held his warmth.
‘I will need time off,’ she admitted, dragging the jacket closer, ‘but I promise to make it up to you.’
There was no reaction from Raffa. This was worse than talking to the boss. It was like talking to a stranger. It was impossible to believe she’d been wrapped in his arms only a few hours before, when he was as remote and aloof as this.
The past had done that. It had damaged them both, and now she was hanging on to her career by a rapidly fraying thread.
‘What if I take my holiday leave to try and sort this out?’ she offered. ‘Would you allow me to do that?’
‘And you’ll restart, when?’ Raffa asked, still without a shred of warmth in his voice. ‘Atyourconvenience?’
‘No,’ Rose protested. ‘I’ll stick strictly to schedule.’
‘And how will you make that happen? You can give me no guarantees,’ he exclaimed angrily. ‘A few lines on a scrap of paper to explain your sudden departure? Why should I trust you?’
‘I promise I’ll return as soon as I can.’
His look chilled her. ‘You say that now,’ he rasped.
The distance between them had never seemed greater. The closeness they’d shared seemed to have completely disappeared, but she couldn’t let it go without a fight. ‘How long are you staying in Ireland?’
Raffa’s brow furrowed. ‘Why do you want to know?’
She had no right to know, but having him close to her was like having a rock to moor her ship to. A ship that had been well and truly holed beneath the waterline. She’d picked herself up many times before, but not like this, not with her heart in tiny pieces.
‘You should go back to the house,’ Raffa insisted in the same emotion-free tone. ‘Your neighbours have gone to a lot of trouble to welcome you home.’
‘You’re not leaving already?’ Rose’s voice hitched on the words.
‘No, but the party isn’t for me, and I’ll only distract you from the welcome your friends want to give you, and that wouldn’t be right.’
‘We’ll speak again, though?’ She’d be begging next.
‘We will,’ he confirmed.
Where and when was never mentioned, leaving nothing but doubt in Rose’s mind. Career or family? Those were her choices, and family won through every time. There’d been a glimmer, just a glimmer of possibility that she could finally live her own life, love, and thrive, and... Do what?Live selfishly?Was that what she wanted? No. Of course it wasn’t. She’d sacrificed all thought of romantic relationships in the past, and that was what she’d do again now.
Is it the right thing to do, or is it cowardice?Am Ifrightened of risking my heart?My parents’ relationship turned into a living hell. Am I incapable of believing I can do things differently?Where’s my courage gone?Where’s the determination that brought me to Spain, to support that very family and further my career?Is that all spent now?
‘You’ll find me at the inn,’ Raffa said, shaking Rose back to reality. ‘If you need me, call.’
I need you now, thought the woman who’d always managed everything on her own. ‘I have your number,’ Rose confirmed.
‘And meet me tomorrow. Nine o’clock at the inn.’
Raffa raised a hand as he walked away. He didn’t turn around.
