‘It’s a lot to take in,’ he reassured. ‘So much has happened in so short a time.’
‘Exactly,’ she agreed, ‘so why the rush?’
‘You need to take a rest. It’s been a busy day.’ She looked at him with surprise. ‘Around midday tomorrow we’ll arrive in Madlena, which means we both need our sleep.’
He waited to escort her to their stateroom, but she didn’t move. ‘You’re frightened,’ he said. ‘I get that.’ He should understand, having read the sickening report supplied by his security team. Not only had Samia’s ex-husband brutalised her, he had also secretly filmed his depravity.
‘Frightened?’ she scoffed weakly as she stumbled to her feet.
‘Your days of fear are over,’ he murmured as he linked her arm through his.
Luca was right, she was terrified of failure, and his kindness almost made it worse. They crossed the grand salon side by side, the handsome prince and his awkward bride, heading for the bridal chamber. By the time they reached the door of Luca’s suite, her heart was racing so fast she could hardly breathe. Opening the door, he led the way inside. ‘Make yourself at home,’ he invited. ‘Thisisyour home now—or at least one of them.’
‘But I don’t have anything here,’ she said, registering the fact that she sounded utterly panic-stricken for the want of a toothbrush, some nightwear and a change of clothes.
‘Domenico will have anticipated your every wish,’ Luca assured her with an understanding smile. ‘You have your own separate dressing room and bathroom here. Please,’ he offered, indicating the doors to these, ‘take as long as you want.’
‘But I can’t...’
‘Turn around,’ he invited.
His fingers on the back of her neck were like incendiary devices to her senses as he began to undo the tiny buttons that ran the length of her wedding gown to the waist. It was impossible not to react as they brushed her shoulder blades. She quivered involuntarily beneath his touch. When he was finished and the gown slid from her body to pool on the floor, she was naked underneath except for a single wisp of underwear, and shivering.
‘Are you cold?’
It was a warm Mediterranean night. She could hardly blame the weather for the white-hot terror surging through her veins. Another man, another wedding night, was playing like a film through her mind. Her ex had never loved her, and she knew that now, though at the time she had still believed in fairy tales. She was nothing more than a means to an end, a link in a chain that led to a weak father and the possibility of a golf course in Scotland. She’d had no idea about pleasing a man in bed, or what was expected of her—she still had no idea.
‘Samia...stop it,’ Luca said gently as he brought her close. ‘I’m not that man.’
No. And for such a big man he could be incredibly gentle. ‘I know,’ she whispered on a throat so dry her tongue cleaved to the roof of her mouth.
‘What do you want? What can I do to reassure you?’
Tenderness, sharing, trusting, all those things, but how to put that into words?
I want you to hold me and lay me down on a newly made bed that smells of sunshine and soap. I want to experience pleasure, but I don’t think I can. I want to give you pleasure, but I don’t know how. What I dread most is that you will mock me and my body. And I don’t want penetration, because I know it hurts.
Sweeping her into his arms, Luca carried her to the bed. Tossing the covers back, he murmured, ‘Sleep well,’ as he tucked her in.
She glanced up in alarm. ‘Where are you going?’
‘To the gym.’
As the door closed behind him she knew she’d failed. And before she’d even got to the first hurdle. The weight of that failure pressed down on her like rocks. She lay in bed as stiff as a statue, registering each new sound in the hope that a familiar footstep might return. It didn’t, of course. An hour later, there was still no sign of Luca. All she could hear was the slap of the sails and the creak of the ropes, as the wind carried them forward to a destination she could only hope would be better than this lonely place.
Reaching out, she traced the crisp, cool sheets with her fingertips. The ceaseless movement of the waves only acted as a cruel reminder that there was nothing to fear in Luca’s bed. Numb and empty inside, she was a bride without a groom, a woman without a purpose. Luca couldn’t have made it clearer that their marriage of convenience was just that, a formality that suited him. It would reassure his country, but he felt no obligation to take part, or to carry out his marital duties.
Which should come as a huge relief. But it didn’t. Instead, it only underlined the fact that her ex had been right all along. She wasn’t desirable. She was incapable of being attractive to a man. She was a failure. When they reached Madlena, how long would Luca put up with that without seeking comfort elsewhere?
What could she do about it? Lie here, feeling sorry for herself, waiting for events to unfold? What about that task she’d set herself to help Luca climb out of his grief? She wasn’t going to do that by brooding alone.
Slipping out of bed, she explored the suite of rooms until she found to her pleasure that the dressing room meant for her had been stocked with brand-new clothes, none of which had come from her original dressing room. She smiled, and knew it was a kindness from Domenico. Now she turned to the sumptuous bathroom, which was fit for a princess, or a woman whose head was whirring with ideas.
Having almost destroyed the punchbag, he lifted weights until he ran out of plates to add, and then set off on the running machine for a straight ten miles uphill. Having exhausted all the possibilities for expending energy in the gym, he took an ice-cold shower that gave him the chance to ponder where he was at, and what he’d done.
Shaking sodden clumps of hair out of his eyes, he planted his fists on the wall and swore viciously. Not only did he have the uncomfortable mix of mourning a much-loved brother, and a personal reputation to salvage, he had a business to run, and a country to reassure, and now a damaged woman, one he cared deeply about, and had married, who had troubles that needing sorting right away. How to best allocate his time to each of these concerns was now his most preoccupying thought.
‘Well done, Luca,’ he snarled as he switched off the shower and reached for a towel. ‘You’ve excelled yourself this time.’
