Undaunted, she walked towards the bed. Her face was rigid and pale. But then, just as he should have expected, she firmed her jaw to confront him head-on. ‘Isn’t that for me to decide?’ she asked. ‘I know what I want, and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing.’
‘You think you are,’ he argued. ‘But really, you’ve got no idea.’
‘About you? I’d like to know you better, but you don’t show yourself to anyone, do you, Luc? At least, I know some part of you,’ she conceded, ‘but that’s only the part you’ve had the courage to show.’
‘You’re calling me a coward now?’
‘I’m saying we’re not so different. I don’t find it any easier than you to show my feelings.’
‘So you thought if we made love again it would all sort itself out?’
‘I’m not that naïve. Pain that’s taken years to build won’t vanish with the first orgasm.’
Burying his hands in his hair, he said nothing.
‘But if I’ve learned one thing, it’s this,’ she went on. ‘If I want something, I know it won’t fall into my lap. I have to get out there and make things happen.’
He raised his head. ‘And that’s what you’re doing now?’
She smiled and shrugged.
‘You’re an intelligent and successful woman who has proved herself ten times over, which is exactly why you don’t need me. There’s no space for you in my life.’
‘Nor you in mine,’ she agreed. ‘So must that consign us both to solitude for ever?’
What she was suggesting appeared to be a relationship of convenience, into which they would dip in and out as it suited them. Normally, he might applaud that sort of thing, but when Stacey was involved, the idea appalled him. He would not agree to flirting with her feelings. She’d get hurt.
Wouldn’t he too?
So what? He doubted he was capable of feeling anything.
‘Think what you like, but my answer’s still no. I won’t do anything to stop you moving forward.’
‘Nice speech, but I’ll stay here all night if I have to.’
‘Please yourself,’ he said, turning over in bed.
She didn’t move.
‘Go to bed, Stacey, before you get in any deeper.’
‘But I want to be in deep. I want to experience life to the full. Iwantto feel. I don’t want to be an onlooker. That only makes the ache inside me worse.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake!’ Shooting up in bed, he glared at her.
She shrugged and smiled. ‘There you are,’ she whispered. ‘Now, can I thank you for finding me?’
‘You already did.’
‘I don’t mean when I was lost in the snow.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Can I explain?’ Before he could answer she was sitting on the bed. ‘I just want to talk.’
Dipping his head, he gave her a disbelieving look. ‘We can talk in the morning.’
‘I don’t want to wait that long.’
