“He suspects,” Kent corrected, but his face was pale. “That’s not the same as knowing.”
“Did you see his face?” I pulled away from Kent, pacing toward the window. My hands were shaking. “He put it together. He saw right through us.”
“So what if he did?” Kent’s voice had an edge to it now, like a challenge. “What’s he going to do, tell everyone? Who would even believe him?”
I spun around to face him. “Are you serious right now? This is exactly whatyouwere afraid of. People finding out. And now Trevor knows, and he looked at us like we were—” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.
“Like we were what? Disgusting?” Kent’s jaw was tight. “Yeah, I caught that. Thanks for the reminder.”
“That’s not what I meant?—”
“Isn’t it?” He moved closer, and I could see the walls going back up in his eyes. The vulnerability from earlier was gone, replaced by the defensive anger I’d gotten so used to seeing from him. “This is what happens, James. This is why I didn’t want anyone to know. Because people look at you like you’re some kind of freak. Just like my coworkers did when I defended you.”
“Trevor was hurt,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady even though my heart was hammering. “He came here thinking we could work things out, and instead he walked into?—”
“Into what? The truth?” Kent laughed bitterly. “Yeah, sorry the truth is so inconvenient for you.”
“That’s not fair.”
“None of this is fair!” His voice rose, and I could see the panic starting to break through his anger. “I defended you tonight. I told off my coworkers, probably fucked up my reputation at work, and for what? So your ex-boyfriend could show up andfigure out that we’re—” He cut himself off, running his hands through his hair. “Fuck.Fuck.”
I wanted to go to him, to put my hands on him and tell him it would be okay. But I didn’t know if that was true. Trevor knew. Or at least, he suspected strongly enough that it might as well be the same thing.
“What if he tells people?” Kent asked quietly, and there was real fear in his voice now. “What if he goes to my work, or tells my dad, or?—”
“He won’t,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. “Trevor doesn’t even know my last name. He’d never be able to figure out where you worked or who our family is.”
“You don’t know that.”
He was right. I didn’t. I’d only known Trevor for a couple of weeks, and most of that time had been spent in his bed getting railed. I didn’t really know what he was capable of when he was hurt and angry.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out with trembling hands, half-expecting it to be Trevor with some kind of threat. But it was just a notification from my email. I shoved it back in my pocket.
“We need to talk about this,” I said.
“What’s there to talk about?” Kent had moved to the couch, sitting down heavily. “Trevor knows. He’s probably already texting all his friends about the sick fucks he met tonight.”
“Stop.” I sat down beside him, close but not touching. “You don’t know what he’s going to do.”
“Neither do you.”
We sat there in silence for a moment. I could feel the space between us widening, could sense Kent retreating back into himself. All the progress we’d made over the past few days felt like it was crumbling.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I should’ve been more firm about him leaving. I should’ve?—”
“It’s not your fault.” Kent’s voice was flat. “This was always going to happen, eventually. We were stupid to think we could keep this a secret.”
“We’ve kept it a secret for less than a week, Kent. That’s not exactly a fair assessment.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He stood up abruptly. “I need to sleep. I’ve got work in the morning, and I need to figure out what the fuck I’m going to say to Derek when he inevitably asks about tonight.”
“Kent—”
“Go to bed.”
The dismissal stung more than I wanted to admit. But fury rose up behind it.
“Don’t you fucking dare order me around, Kent,” I barked, stepping up to him and grabbing him by the face. I kissed him hard on the mouth, his body going rigid, but he didn’t pull away. “I’m tired of you getting angry and taking it out on me every time something doesn’t go your way! Stop acting like a child!”
