“No,” I said quickly. “Honestly. It’s nothing like that.”
Trevor studied my face for a long moment, and I could see him putting pieces together. “But there issomething.”
I wanted to deny it. The words were right there, ready to dismiss his concern and pretend everything was fine. But sitting there in the dim glow of the dashboard lights, looking at this kind man who deserved honesty, I couldn’t do it.
“Yeah,” I admitted quietly. “There’s something. I don’t really understand it myself yet, but I need to figure it out before I can... before we can...” I gestured helplessly between us.
Trevor nodded slowly, his jaw working. “I appreciate you being honest with me.” He looked away, out the windshield at nothing in particular. “For what it’s worth, I really like you, James. And if you figure your stuff out and want to give this another shot, I’d be open to it.”
“Trevor—”
“But I’m not going to wait around while you work through whatever’s going on with your stepbrother.” His voice was gentle but firm. There was no judgement either. “I’ve been the backup plan before. I’m not doing that again.”
The words stung, even though they were completely fair. “I get it. And I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just... take care of yourself, okay?” He reached over and squeezed my shoulder, a final gesture of affection that made my throat tight.
We both got out, walking to the building side by side. Inside the door, we parted ways with a small nod. The guilt sat heavy in my chest, but underneath it was something else. Relief, maybe. Or clarity.
I couldn’t keep pretending this thing with Kent didn’t exist.
The stairs up to my apartment felt endless. My mind raced with what I was going to say, how I was going to explain any of this.Hey Kent, so I think I might have feelings for you. Remember how you used to call me slurs in high school? Good times.
I unlocked the door and stepped inside, expecting to find Kent on the couch watching TV like usual. But the living room was empty, the television dark. A light was on in the kitchen, though, and I could hear the sound of cabinet doors opening and closing.
“Kent?” I called out, setting my keys on the counter.
“Hey.” He appeared in the kitchen doorway, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt that had seen better days. His hairwas damp, like he’d just gotten out of the shower. “How was the movie?” He glanced around me, his brows furrowed. “Trevor with you?”
“It was...” I trailed off, unsure how to answer. “Look, we need to talk.”
His expression shifted immediately, concern replacing the casual friendliness. “That sounds ominous. Everything okay?”
“I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair, suddenly exhausted. “I broke things off with Trevor. Sort of. It’s complicated.”
Kent’s eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise. “What? Why? I thought things were going well.”
“They were. He’s great. That’s not the problem.” I moved past him into the kitchen, needing something to do with my hands. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water, taking a long drink while Kent watched me with that unreadable expression he got sometimes.
“So, what is the problem?” he asked carefully.
I set the glass down, gripping the edge of the counter. This was it. The moment where I either said something or spent the rest of my life wondering what if.
“You,” I said, turning to face him. “You’re the problem.”
Kent went very still. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I can’t stop thinking about you. About the dinner with our parents, about you fixing my laptop, about that stupid hug.” The words came out in a rush, like a dam breaking. “And I don’t know what to do with any of it because you’re my stepbrother and you spent years making my life hell, and this is insane, right? This is completely insane.”
The silence that followed was deafening. Kent just stared at me, his face pale, and I couldn’t tell if he was about to punch me or run out the door or?—
“It’s not insane,” he said quietly.
I blinked. “What?”
“It’s not insane.” He took a step closer, and I could see his hands trembling slightly at his sides. “I’ve been thinking about you too. About us. And I know I don’t have any right to feel this way after everything I did to you, but I can’t help it.”
My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. “Kent?—”
