“Don’t get used to it,” I said, trying to deflect with humor. But my voice came out softer than I intended.
“Right.” He smiled—actuallysmiled at me. It wasn’t the tight, forced thing he usually gave me, but something genuine. Then, without a moment’s hesitation, he crossed the room and pulled me into a hug.
The whole world seemed to stop spinning.
I froze, every muscle in my body going rigid. James’s arms were around me, solid and warm, and he was so close I could smell the shampoo he used. My heart was hammering so hard I was sure he could feel it through my chest.
“Thank you,” he said again, his voice muffled against my shoulder.
I should have pulled away. Should have laughed it off, made some joke to break the tension. But instead, my arms moved on their own, wrapping around him and pulling him closer. He fit against me in a way that felt both foreign and completelynatural, like my body had been waiting for this without my permission.
It lasted maybe five seconds. Maybe less. But when he stepped back, I felt the loss of contact like a physical ache.
“Sorry,” James said, his cheeks flushing slightly. “I just—that was really thoughtful. I know things have been weird between us, but...” He gestured vaguely between us. “This is nice. You being nice is… well,nice.”
“Yeah,” I managed, my voice coming out rougher than I intended. “Well. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He laughed, and the sound did something dangerous to my insides. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He turned back toward the groceries, leaving me standing there trying to remember how to breathe normally.
“So, about that celebration dinner. What are you in the mood for?”
I should have said pizza or Chinese or literally anything normal. Instead, I heard myself say, “Whatever you want. Your client, your choice.”
His smile widened. “Dangerous words. I’m thinking Thai.”
“Thai works.”
He pulled out his phone to place the order, and I turned back to the groceries, trying to focus on putting away cans of soup instead of the way my heart was still pounding in my chest. I reached down, adjusting my jeans. Every inch of my body ached for his touch again.
This was going to be a problem.
A big problem.
But as I listened to James rattle off our order to the restaurant, his voice relaxed and easy in a way it hadn’t been since I’d moved in, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Maybe Sarah was right. Maybe acknowledging this, whatever this was, would lead to something better.
Or maybe it would blow up in my face and destroy the fragile peace we’d built.
Either way, I was apparently done lying to myself about it.
Chapter 13
James
We were an hour and a half into the movie and I still had no idea what it was about. There had been nothing but explosions, gunfire, and the main character was clearly the reason all his friends were dead. In short, it was a movie I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about. But it was the one Trevor wanted to see, and I was trying to be accommodating.
Trevor’s hand found mine in the darkness, his fingers threading through mine with an ease that should have felt comfortable. And it did feel comfortable. That was part of the problem. His palm was warm, his grip steady, and when he glanced over at me with that golden retriever smile, I felt guilty for being so checked out.
I squeezed his hand back and tried to focus on the screen. Another explosion. More shouting. I was pretty sure the main character’s love interest had just been killed, but I couldn’t remember her name or why I was supposed to care.
Because I wasn’t thinking about the movie. I wasn’t even really thinking about Trevor, despite his thumb now tracing lazy circles on the back of my hand.
I was thinking about Kent.
About the way he’d defended me at dinner. About the laptop repair and that stupid sticky note that had made my chest feel tight. About the hug…Jesus, that hug… and how for those few seconds, I’d felt completely safe in a way I hadn’t felt in years. How I felt like Ibelonged.
Trevor shifted beside me, reaching for the popcorn bucket balanced on the armrest between us. He offered it to me, and I took a handful I didn’t want, chewing mechanically while the movie droned on.
This wasn’t fair to him. Trevor was a good guy. He was kind and thoughtful and clearly into me. We had chemistry in bed, and now I was discovering he had an actual personality to go with those muscles. By all accounts, this should be working.
