“It’s not only my story to give you all the details. But what I can tell you is some bad things happened within our family and my mother and sisters were taken. I was staying with Dragna at our grandfathers house the night it happened so I wasn’t there at home to be taken with them.” He shakes his head before continuing.
“The guilt… it fucking eats me alive. Dimitri, our grandfather, and his men did everything they could to find them, to bring them home…” His voice cracks and I reach out to put my hand on top of his for support.
“But they couldn’t. It was as if they had vanished. A few months went by before one night the entire estate erupted into chaos. I was only six, but I remember it so vividly. Everyone was rushing around, men were piling into cars, guns strapped to them, people on phones, shouting, screaming…
Amongst all the chaos though, I’ll never forget the only thing I could focus on. Like everything around me went black and all I could see was Dimitri and Milena outside wailing. The front doors were open, flood lights on illuminating them like a spotlight. Milena was holding something in her arms and I didn’t know at the time what it was, but you can imagine.” He shakes his head and I feel something wet drip onto my foot. I look down thinking it’s the blood he’s cleaning off me, but it’s tears. His tears.
“Lev. I’m so sorry.” I say as a sob rips out of me.
“It was seeing my grandfather though, that’s when I knew straight away what had happened. I’d never seen him cry, but there he was… Our Pakhan, our leader, my big strong grandfather who we all looked up to, pulling my mothers lifeless body to his own, shouting for her to wake up through his tears.”
He leans his head forward to rest against my leg as his armour cracks and he cries harder.
He cries and he cries and I can’t do anything but hold onto him and cry with him.
“That’s why this is hitting Dragna so hard. It’s why it’s hitting me so hard and all we want to do is protect both you and Alina. I know Dragna is going insane because he can’t find out who’s stalking you and in his mind, he’s thinking history is going to repeat itself. I also didn’t just call you my sister joking around. I do genuinely see you that way Willow, and I couldn’t protect my baby sisters then, but I can protect you now. I’ll protect both my girls, we all will if you let us.”
I just stare at him in disbelief that this is their life, that that’s what happened to him as a child. I couldn’t imagine ever going through something like that and it makes me think about how Dragna must of felt that night too.
He would of been sixteen, just after his father passed away or just before… all that loss at such a young age.
But he lied to me, he’s been lying to me this whole time. Everything he’s bought me, every dinner, every gift, every book all paid for with money that probably had blood on it.
I look back at Lev who is just watching me with sorrow filled eyes.
“I want to go home Lev.” I tell him through my tears and he gives me a weak smile while nodding before he wipes his own tears away again.
Chapter Thirty Eight
Willow
We’re all sitting in the airport waiting to board our flight. I’ve had three coffees so far but I’m still so tired, still feeling numb and just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and Alina doesn’t feel any better.
Lev dropped me home last night after he cleaned up my injuries and somehow I managed to avoid Dragna on the way out of leaving his house.
When I got home I went straight to Alina’s room and woke her up and the two of us talked and cried together until it was time to get ready to leave.
Both of us know the truth about Dragna and Lev, and she had some truths of her own to tell me last night.
My head spun when she told me about her dad and how she already knew about Dragna and how she was so sorry she kept it from me. I understood why she did it and not a single part of me was hurt or mad at her. She was just trying to protect me.
All I can think about is how Alina and I have ended up here mixed in the middle of this mess. I feel so far removed from reality that I don’t know what the hell is real and what isn’t anymore.
Lev convinced me that this weekend would be good for us, to take a couple of days with our friends to try and forget what’s happening here in New York and to have some fun. Easier said than done when you find out the guy you thought was perfect is the most feared man not just in your city, but pretty much everywhere, and then your best friends dad is his rival gangsleader… or they aren’t really rivals, but they are? God I have no clue how any of this works or what the hell is going on anymore.
I feel a squeeze on my hand I look down to see Alina is holding my hand in hers as she cuddles in beside me on the floor.
“We’ll make this weekend as fun as we can.” She says as she leans her head on my shoulder.
“Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry again for not telling you Willow. I thought not telling you would keep you safe like Dragna said, and as much as I hate to admit it… now that I’ve had some time to process it all, I do see where he was coming from but I’m still sorry for keeping all of this from you, I’m no better than him for lying to you.” She says as tears begin to form in her eyes.
Alina has apologised a hundred times since I woke her up and told her I knew about everything last night. It’s not her fault we’re in this mess though. I won’t and never will hold it against her. We’re both in this and we only have each other to get through it together.
I put my arms around her and squeeze her so tight she pretends she’s choking as she starts to laugh.
“I have already told you girl, you have nothing to apologise for. You’re dealing with a hell of a lot more with your dad Ali. We’ve stuck together through everything, this isn’t going to break us.”
