“Watch the glass.” I say as I scoop her up and set her on the counter.
“Talk to me. Why are you throwing glasses at walls Dragna.” She says as she gently holds my face between her hands.
I close my eyes, unable to look at her and feeling like a failure.
“We still can’t find any information on the car.”
She brings my face up to look at her and I last two seconds looking into her eyes before I look away and pull out of her hold.
“Dragna?” She sounds hurt and I feel nauseous at the thought of it being because of me.
“I can’t keep you safe.” I say quietly as I begin pacing the kitchen again.
“Despite everything I’m doing. I can’t fucking keep you safe!” I roar and slam my hands down on the countertop and she jumps at the sound and my head snaps to hers.
“I’m sorry!Blyat’, Willow I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She doesn’t answer me, but her throat works as she swallows and she picks at the skin around her nails, a habit I picked up on that she does when she’s nervous or anxious.
“I just don’t know what to do to help you and it’s killing me. If anything happened to you… I can’t even think about what I would do.” I shake my head and push off the counter, stalking to get another glass.
“Surely the police will keep doing what they can. The guys bound to mess up at some point.” Willow sounds so hopeful while I just scoff out a dry, humourless laugh.
“You don’t think they’ll be able to do anything?” She asks and I clench my jaw at her question because this entire time she thought the police have been the ones looking for this guy, but it’s been us. I’ve been lying to her this entire time, about so many things thinking keeping her in the dark would be the better option.
“No, I don’t.” I say, my voice coming out hoarse and low. I pour a glass of vodka and knock it back before pouring another. Willow jumps down off the counter and begins making her way over to me.
“Look at me.” She says sternly and I rub my jaw harshly, ignoring her request.
“Look at me Dragna.” She shouts this time and I inhale deeply before bringing my eyes to hers. We stand silently together, staring into each other’s eyes. The quiet that surrounds us feels ominous instead of peaceful and the gut feeling that everything is about to come crashing down makes me want to throw up.
“Why would the police not help?” She stares me down with a mixture of confusion and sudden realisation and I know she’s now thinking if the police were ever even involved. By the way she waits for my answer, she wants me to admit what she already knows.
“You know why.”
“Say it.”
Her eyes begin to glass over and I reach for her to comfort her but she takes a step back, retreating from me. Goosebumps erupt over my body and I physically hunch over slightly, air whooshing from my lungs.
“Don’t do this Willow.” I say as I take a step towards her and she takes another one back, shaking her head.
“Then say it!” She says sternly as her lip quivers and a tear falls from eye.
“You can’t can you? God I’m so fucking stupid! You’re not different at all, I mean you left me on my doorstep for god sake. I should have never given you another chance!”
“No, Willow don’t do this.” I reach for her again but she brings her hands up to stop me.
“Don’t fucking touch me. Just tell me the truth.” She grips her stomach and I know she’s hurting as much as I am right now.
“They wouldn’t be helping because they were never involved.” I sigh and drop my head between my shoulders.
“I had it handled. I have the best men who do a far better job than what the police can do Willow. I promise you that.” I continue as I look back into her eyes and I wish I hadn’t becausethe hurt in them that I just confirmed what she had been thinking is making me feel sick.
“You promise a lot of things.” She shakes her head at me.
“But promises mean shit all when I don’t trust you.”
“How can you not trust me?” I ask, tears brimming my own eyes now.
