Willow
It’s weird being in a car alone again with Dragna after what happened last time. I try not to let the thoughts consume me too much and just enjoy the fact that we both made it out alive and are finally together.
His hand rests on my thigh as he drives with one hand, music playing in the background and a sense of peace filling the air around us.
He’s taking me to my first therapy session, which after everything, is very much needed. He’s paid for all of us girls to speak to someone after Boston and after four weeks of putting it off, I’m finally going.
We still don’t know where Ella is and Dragna has even more security around us than he said he has ever had in his life. I suppose it’s worth it after everything we have been through.
It’s going to take a while before I feel somewhat normal again, but having him by my side has made it all a lot easier.
We flew back to New York the day after I was rescued because Alina and I didn’t want to stay in Boston any longer than we had already been there. Mia and Gigi returned the week before I was rescued and have been staying with their families. Lev had organised with their workplaces to give them the time off because neither of them wanted to, or even could have returned to work while I was still being held by the Italians and after their own trauma with Tommy. He also paid for every expense for them and between him, Ivan and Anton as well as Mikhail and even Nikolai, they were kept safe and in the know.
Lev also said he spoke to mine and Alina’s boss and told her some kind of story as to why we wouldn’t be in work for a while as well as paying her out for any loss of business because she couldn’t open as much without us there.
We have all gone through a lot and Gigi and Mia began seeing their therapists a couple of weeks ago, meanwhile Alina is being typical Alina and refusing professional help all together.
For me, it’s taken longer to want to open up about everything. I only feel like I am ready now to finally be vulnerable again and talk about it all.
I feel like I have grown a lot the last six weeks. I’m no longer the Willow who was afraid to let anybody in or the Willow who didn’t think she deserved love. With Dragna, I know I deserve every ounce of care and compassion he shows me. He wouldn’t let me not believe it. He’s been patient with me too, understanding I don’t want to do dates or visit the club or do anything that that means we have to be out in public and even though he is still waiting for me to say yes to moving in with him, he knows I don’t want to leave Alina on her own either.
He offered for her to move in with us and she would have her own wing of the house but she quickly turned it down considering Lev would be there all the time. I thought after everything that happened, they would have worked things out but apparently not.
The night I was taken and Dragna was brought back to the house in Boston basically dead, Alina said her judgement was clouded and her emotions were getting the better of her and as soon as the doctor came to tell them Dragna’s surgery was successful, she went back to hating Lev again. Dragna said their constant arguing for the couple of days he was conscious before they rescued me made him wish he could of been put into a coma again.
Maybe one day they’ll sort themselves out because even if they can’t see it, they are both so alike and perfect for each other that it is actually quite terrifying. Now though, instead of screwing like animals how they used to, that energy is put into fighting with each other to the point that it wouldn’t surprise me if Lev showed up with a knife in him somewhere.
Alina has changed a lot since Boston too. She had her down days and lashed out easily before, but now she’s like a fire that can’t be put out. Where I have gone more into myself, she’s went further away from herself to escape what happened and all I can hope for is that when she does eventually realise she needs to speak to someone, that there will be a therapist out there that able to bring her back.
It hasn’t come between our friendship though, if there is one thing I can count on, it is that no matter how awful we both feel about anything, we have each other to lean on.
Always.
My best friend has her own demons from her past and I know what’s happened has stirred things up for her that she doesn’t want to acknowledge ever again.
“Here we are, do you want me to walk you up?” Dragna’s deep, rough voice pulls me from my thoughts. I consider taking his offer of walking me to the first floor of the building, but I quickly shake those thoughts from my head.
He’ll be right outside watching me the whole time.
I can do this.
I am safe.
I am safe.
I am safe.
“No it’s okay. I have to at least try to be a functioning human again, so I’ll start today.” I smile at him and he just looks at me before swallowing and lowering his head, slightly shaking it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I reach for his hand and squeeze it.
“You are the strongest person I know. I don’t know anyone who could go through what you have and come out the other side of it still be able to function. You’re doing better than you thinkmoya dusha.”
His words give me butterflies in my stomach and I look away to hide my blush but his hand quickly comes up to cup my face, bringing it back to focus on him again.
“I mean it Willow.” He says before leaning in and kissing me.
“Now go in there and do what you have to do. I’ll be right outside. I’m not going anywhere.”
