"Ilay." My voice comes out breathless. He doesn't answer, just guides me forward with a hand on the small of my back, pulling out my chair with that infuriating smirk on his face. "You hired an orchestra?"
"I hired a lot of things. Now sit." I sit in a daze, still trying to process the fact that this man rented out a beach and hired a full orchestra just for dinner, and the food starts coming, course after course of things I can't even pronounce with each one better than the last, and we eat and talk and laugh, and for a little while I forget about everything else—because right now it's just us.
When we finish eating, the orchestra starts playing a slow and romantic song. Ilay stands and offers me his hand. "Dance with me." I take it and let him pull me to my feet, and we move to the music with his arm around my waist and my head against his chest, the sand soft beneath my heels and the breeze warm and everything feeling perfect in a way I didn't think was possible for us.
He spins me out and pulls me back in, and I laugh at the joy of it, and he does it again and again until I'm dizzy but in a good way this time, then the music slows and he stops. I look up at him confused, about to ask what's wrong, when he drops to both knees in front of me and my heart stops. "Ilay."
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small velvet box, opening it to reveal a diamond so massive and ridiculous it could only come from a man like him, and when he looks up at me, his eyes look raw and vulnerable.
"Iris." His voice cracks on my name. "I'm not a good man. I've done terrible things, hurt people, killed people, lied and manipulated and destroyed anything that got in my way, andI'm not going to stand here and pretend I'm sorry for any of it because I'm not."
His hands are trembling as he holds the ring up to me. "But you. You're the one thing in this world I would burn everything down for. You're the one thing I would die for. I would put a bullet in my own head if you asked me to. I would carve out my own heart and hand it to you on a silver fucking platter if that's what you wanted."
He takes a shaky breath and I watch his throat work as he swallows. "I am obsessed with you. Completely. Utterly. In a way that should probably scare you. I think about you every second of every day. When you're not with me, I can't breathe. When you're upset, I want to kill whoever made you feel that way, even if it's me. Especially if it's me."
His voice drops lower, rougher, desperate. "I'm begging you, Iris. I'm on my fucking knees begging you. Please do me the greatest service and pick me. Marry me. Take my name. Let me spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can be the man you deserve, even though we both know I'll never come close."
Tears stream down his face and he doesn't bother wiping them away. "You could destroy me with a single word. You already have, just by existing, just by making me feel things I didn't think I was capable of feeling. I am completely and utterly at your mercy, and I'm begging you—"
His voice breaks. "Please. Please marry me."
I reach down and smack him on the head, and he blinks up at me through his tears. "What the—"
"Stop with all this dramatic shit." I'm trying not to laugh even as my own tears start falling.
"I'm proposing to you."
"I know, and you're being ridiculous." I drop to my knees in front of him on the sand and grab his face with both hands, forcing him to look at me. "Yes. I'll marry you. I'll take your name and let you spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself to me, even though you don't have to."
He stares at me for a second like he can't believe what he's hearing, then he lets out a sound that's half laugh and half sob and crashes his mouth against mine, kissing me like I'm the air he needs to breathe.
When he pulls back, his hands are shaking as he slides the ring onto my finger, and he presses his forehead against mine. "I love you, angel."
"I love you too, Ilay." We stay there on our knees in the sand with the orchestra playing and the waves crashing behind us and the stars overhead, and for the first time since this whole nightmare started, I think maybe, just maybe, we might actually be okay.
Chapter 47
?
IRIS
I'm sitting cross-legged in Ilay's chair with a bowl balanced on my lap, crushing potato chips into vanilla yogurt and eating it by the spoonful. The salt and sweet mix tastes better than it should. Better than anything I've eaten in weeks.
Ilay is pacing in front of his desk with a piece of paper in his hand, muttering to himself.
My stomach cramps suddenly and I press my hand against it, groaning.
He stops pacing. "You okay?"
"Fine." I scoop another spoonful. "Just been feeling sick lately. And craving the weirdest things."
"Like that?" He nods at the bowl.
"Yeah." I shrug. "Probably because my period is coming."
"Do you want me to go downstairs and get you more yogurt and chips?"
"No, I'm good." I wave him off. "Keep going."
