When I pull back, I'm smiling. "You've made me the happiest man alive."
"Yes," she whispers, hollow.
But even as she says it, even as I feel the victory of finally having her agreement, something feels wrong. "But I don't want this," I hear myself say, and the words surprise even me. "I don't want you to say yes because you're scared. I don't want you to marry me to save them." She stares at me, confusion flickering through the tears.
"I want you to accept me for who I am," I continue. "I want you to say you'll marry me out of your own free will. Not because I'm holding a gun to someone's head. Not because you're trying to save people. I want you to choose me because you love me."
"This is my free will," she says desperately. "I'm saying it because I want to."
"No, you're not." I stand up and run a hand through my hair. "You're doing it to save them. You're not doing this because you love me." And that's when I realize just how fucked up this whole situation really is.
I want her love.
I want her touch, yes, but I also want her to love me.
Chapter 44
????
ILAY
I lock the door behind us, the click of the bolt sliding into place echoing through the quiet room.
I turn to face her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Strip." She reaches for the hem of her sweater, pulling it over her head, while my eyes rake every movement she makes. She unbuttons her pants, sliding them down her legs. She stands there in her bra and panties, looking small. I tower over her, and I fucking love it. "Remove the rest." She unhooks her bra and lets it drop. Her panties follow, pushed down her thighs, Then its kicked aside.
My mouth goes dry. "You're fucking perfect, Iris." Heat floods her cheeks, and she crosses to me, her hands trembling as she reaches for the buttons of my shirt. She gets it open and pushes it off my shoulders, then moves to my belt, tugging it free and unzipping my pants before pulling them down along with my boxers.
My cock springs free, nearly catching her in the face, and she jerks back with a startled breath. "Touch me," I say, my voice rough and low. "I'm your husband." She lifts one finger pressing so lightly I almost can't feel it, her hand trembling as it trails down my sternum.
"Please stop shaking." I soften my tone, watching her. "If you don't want to do this, I'll take a cold fucking shower right now."
She steels herself, cups my face with both hands, then lets one drop, sliding lower and lower until her fingers wrap aroundmy cock. I groan, my head falling back as she strokes me once, twice, learning the weight and heat of me in her palm.
"Bed," I growl. "Now." She climbs onto the mattress and I follow, settling against the pillows before patting my face with one hand. "Sit on my face." She hesitates. "I've been running. I'm sweaty. I don't smell good."
"I don't care." My eyes darken. "Suffocate me, Iris."
She crawls up my body, positioning herself over my face, then I grip her thighs and yank her down onto my mouth. The first taste of her nearly breaks me. Sweet, warm, something heady underneath that makes my cock throb against nothing.
I want to devour her whole, but I force myself to go slow.
She's given me everything already. Her body. Her trust. I'm not about to wreck it by being a selfish bastard.
I drag my tongue through her wetness, find her clit, circle it with slow pressure until she gasps above me, fingers clutching the headboard. Her thighs shake against my face. I push my tongue inside her, feel her clench around it.
She rolls her hips, grinds down, and I groan into her pussy. The sound makes her jerk.
Then I slide lower, my tongue trailing down to her ass. She freezes. "Ilay—"
I don't stop. I circle the tight ring, testing it, before pressing my tongue inside just enough to make her feel it. She bucks, trying to escape, and I lock an arm around her hips, holding her in place.
"Relax," I mutter against her skin. "Let me make you feel good." She whimpers, then slowly eases back down. I work her with my mouth, alternating between her clit and her ass, until her breathing goes ragged.
Her thighs clamp around my head. She comes with a broken cry, her whole body shaking, wetness flooding my mouth. I don't stop. I keep going, wringing every last pulse out of her until she collapses forward against the headboard, gasping for air.
I lift her off my face, easing her down onto the mattress beside me. She goes boneless against the sheets, still trembling, her chest rising and falling with ragged breaths.
I drag the back of my hand across my mouth, then lean over her until my arms cage her in.
