"Nine months, I think," Josiah said, dryly as Lord Worthington chuckled. "From the day of your wedding, however. Not before, no matter how much you might desire it."
The smile on Lord Worthington's face vanished and he drew himself up. "I am a gentleman!" he exclaimed, making Josiah's face heat with embarrassment over his own foolish remark."I would never dream of treating a young lady with such disregard!"
"I am sure you would not," Josiah answered, trying to soothe his friend. "I did not mean to suggest otherwise. It was only a teasing remark, Worthington, please do accept my apology."
This slowly began to quieten Lord Worthington's upset, much to Josiah's relief.
"I thank you," he said, after a moment or two. "I shall accept it. I am glad to know that you think well of me after all."
"More than well," Josiah replied, firmly. "I know that you are doing your very best to encourage me by demanding that I come to London and in forcing me to come to Lord Suffolk's ball." He countered this with a wry smile which, thankfully, Lord Worthington responded to with a quiet chuckle. "I do not know what I can do to assist you but if there is anything that I might do to aid you in your search for a suitable young lady, then I would be glad to do it. I understand that such things can be of a more personal nature, however."
"I appreciate your support," Lord Worthington replied, eyeing Josiah carefully. "You say that you know such things can be of a personal nature, then?"
A little confused, Josiah nodded. "Yes, of course."
"Because you have experienced such a thing."
"Why, yes, I ---" Josiah closed his eyes, snapping his mouth closed but not before he had caught Lord Worthington's wide eyes. He had said more than he had meant to and had given a good deal more away than he had wanted --- and now his friend would, no doubt, press him for more details.
"I see." Lord Worthington's tone was not filled with glee as Josiah might have expected. Instead, he sounded almost sorrowful. "Your heart has sustained an injury, then?"
An injury?Josiah thought to himself, eyeing Lord Worthington's set expression carefully.No, not an injury. It feels as if my heart has been ripped right out of my chest.
"Perhaps."
With a slow nod, Lord Worthington shrugged. "Then I shall leave that with you. If you wish to tell me of it at some point, know that I am ready to listen to you."
Surprised at his friend's lack of willingness to press Josiah for further details, Josiah studied his friend's face, waiting for him to ask for more details... but he did not. Eventually, after some minutes of quiet, Lord Worthington smiled and then gestured to the path ahead of them.
"Might I suggest that we meander around the room and see what other acquaintances we might meet? I would be glad to introduce you to anyone you are not yet acquainted with."
Including young ladies?Josiah was almost about to protest, was almost about to state that no, he did not want such a thing, only to bite back his words before they could be spoken. His friend was doing all he could to help Josiah's mood and he should not be so willing to turn away from it.
"Very well."
"Capital!" Lord Worthington chuckled as he nudged Josiah. "You may not be interested in the young ladies present in London but I can assure you that I most certainly am. Look there! Three very fine young ladies indeed, I must say!"
Josiah allowed his gaze to follow where Lord Worthington had gestured to, only for his breath to pull into his chest and his whole body to wash with a sudden chill.
It had been months since he had last seen Lady Clara and, in truth, he had dreaded this moment --- but had not expected it to be upon him so soon! She was smiling at something someone else had said but, to his eyes, it was not a genuine smile. It did not light her hazel eyes in the way he had come to know so well.
Look away,he told himself, his gaze still firmly fixed to her face.Look away before she notices you.
He could not. The dull ache in his heart grew to such a fervor, it began to become painful and Josiah grimaced, desperate to take his eyes from her but still quite unable to do the very thing he desired. The longing within his heart was still there, betraying him and mocking him with the severity of it --- and that even with all of the agony and torment he had endured these last few months.
"You have had your attention caught by one of them, I can see!" Lord Worthington laughed and slapped Josiah on the back and that action pulled Josiah free from her.
He turned away bodily, his heart still pounding, his mouth dry and his hands curling and uncurling. Lord Worthington was saying something else but Josiah could not hear him, the only sound now a buzzing in his ears. He stepped away, not knowing where he was going, not certain as to where he was headed but eager only to get away from Lady Clara --- as far from her as he could.
I should never have come to London.
Lord Worthington put a hand on Josiah's shoulder, his exclamation loud enough that Josiah feared Lady Clara would hear him. "My friend, whatever is the matter?"
Josiah turned, glanced at his friend and then looked over his shoulder to where Lady Clara still stood. She had not turned her head in his direction, had not yet looked at him and Josiah released a slow breath in an attempt to calm himself.
"I am going to take my leave."
Lord Worthington's eyes rounded. "Leave? But why?"
