I push the door open and close it softly behind me. The room sinks into darkness, but I can still make out her perfect outline under the thin blanket.
I move through the room, each step bringing me closer to the only thing that’s ever made sense in my fucked-up world. For a moment, I stand there, staring, watching her attempt to fake sleep.
She’s good at this. I’ll give her that. Most people can’t pull it off, not really. They’ll flinch, twitch, and fuck up their breathing, but she’s holding it together.
I’m halfway to the bed when her legs move, and I stop dead, every muscle in my body wired tight. The softest moan spills from her lips, and she kicks the blanket away, baring her beautiful body to the darkness.
Her hand slips between her thighs, fingers moving slowly, the kind of thing I’ve watched her do a hundred times before—endless recordings I probably shouldn’t still have, the camera feeds that show just how far gone I really am—but never like this.
The sound of her fingers working her open hits me first, then the scent—fuck me, that smell—I can taste her in the air like she’s already inside me. And fuck, I’d crawl for it. Hands flat on the floor, chest to the ground, dragging my body through the dark, like the animal I am when it comes to her.
I want my face buried between her thighs, my tongue on her, in her, working her until she’s spread wide and shivering, and I’m stripped right down to nothing but my fucking submission.
She rolls from her side onto her back, her hips rocking against her fingers, offering me the perfect view.
That black lace bra she’s wearing is for me.
The wet sound between her thighs? Also for me.
I don’t move.
Don’t blink.
Don’t even fucking breathe.
“Oh my god… feels so good.”
I drag a hand through my hair, my fingers tightening in the strands, because what the fuck am I supposed to do with this? I didn’t walk in here for this. I wasn’t prepared for her like this.
I want to touch.
I want to taste.
I want to watch.
I want to come.
My hand drops, and I palm my cock through my pants, already rock-hard from nothing but proximity. If I finish right here in the dark like some feral animal while she lies there pretending she doesn’t feel my eyes on her, then so be it.
She can add it to the long list of shit I’ve already done because of her.
“God, I wish you were touching me… kissing me… fucking me.”
My jaw tightens, and I almost answer her, tempted to step out of the shadows and take everything she’s pretending she doesn’t want to give me.
But I don’t.
This is how she wants it.
Me, hidden in the dark.
“I wish I could have just one last time with you.”
I freeze, my hand stilled against my throbbing dick, my breath shot to hell.
“But Phoenix…”
Phoenix.
