Anger filled me, because part of me had wanted to believe he’d intervene, that he’d dosomethingto mitigate my humiliation. To help. He had inside the trial.
My hands clenched into fists so tight my nails bit into my palms. Pain was the only thing keeping me upright, the only thing real in this nightmare of rejection.
The crowd’s whispers grew louder.
Let them stare. Let them hiss. I’d survived worse than theirjudgment, and I’d survive this too. But when this was over, when I had power of my own, I’d remember every face that had looked at me like I was nothing.
Kira’s voice cut through the murmurs. “Fucking end it. Kill her.”
Gasps from the crowd turned to nervous laughter, though only from a few.
I was happy for my friends, but people had died in almost every group and… Alright. It would be me. I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my mission.
“I’m sorry, Addie,” I whispered, my heart cracking wide open and my misery leaking through the gap. “I’m sorry, children.”
I tightened my backbone, determined not to cower when I died. Inside, though, I had turned into the quivering child I’d been the night my mother died, the ten-year-old who had to show she was strong. Wear the mask and hold her head high.
Not even pain could be this cruel. Pain ended. Shame lived.
Almost defiant, I met Trew’s gaze again.
His smirk made heat roar through me. So lazy and knowing and snide, like he’d already decided I wasn’t worth worrying about any longer.
The noise of the crowd dulled. My heart skittered like it hadn’t gotten the message that he was the enemy. That he was dangerous. That I had a hundred better things to do thanstare at his mouth like it might taste like sin.
My breath shuddered in and out of my lungs.
He tilted his head, like he could hear its furious rhythm. Like heknewthat even in this, I couldn’t quite suppress my craving for him.
I yanked my gaze away, furious at him. Furious at myself.
And already dreading the next time I’d have to pretend I didn’t want to look again.
A few of the last of the beasts looked toward me before turning and leaping or flying through the exit. Most didn’t bother to give me even a chance to bond before leaving.
Peering around, I sought one face that wasn’t twisted with a sneer or, just as worse, crushing sympathy.
Instead, my gaze foundhisagain.
Still watching. No longer smirking. He looked curious. Fascinated in a way that had nothing to do with this entertainment and everything to do with genuine puzzlement.
Our eyes locked across the arena, and for a moment, the crowd fell away. The chanting faded. My complete rejection became irrelevant.
It was just him and me and something I couldn’t name hanging in the air between us.
My heart shattered, my thoughts flying away like startled birds. I faced the empty arena while the crowd shook their heads and hissed to each other.
In all the years of this ritual, had anyone ever been rejected by every single beast?
Kira leaned forward, her voice lifting, chanting. “Kill her. Kill her. Kill her.”
The words wrapped around my throat like a noose, squeezing until black spots danced at the edges of my vision.
I forced my fists to unclench. Forced my spine to hold me upright. Forced my jaw to unlock.
I would not cry in front of them. I would not run. I would not give even one of them that satisfaction.
Trew raised one hand.
