And with that truth, every breath I’d taken since her funeral turned into a lie.
The parchment slipped from my numb fingers, floating to the floor. My knees hit the stone next, the pain distant compared to the agony tearing through my chest. A sound escaped me, not quite a sob, not quite a scream, muffled by my fist as I pressed it against my mouth.
Addie. Was. Alive.
All this time, she’d been locked away. Suffering. While I’d bonded with Pherin. While I’d found love. While I’d believed her body had burned in a funeral pyre.
Tears slid down my cheeks, and I fell onto my side, curling tight, protecting the bleeding wound in my heart that had been ripped open. Each breath came short and hard, my vision blurring until the light fractured into a thousand golden shards.
Grief twisted, hardening into something darker, hotter. Followed by rage. It coursed through my veins, burning away the shock, leaving only clarity behind. My father had not only stolen my sisterfrom me, but he’d also made me believe she was dead. He’d let me mourn her. He’d watched me nearly break.
I dug my fingernails into my palms and forced myself upright, every muscle quivering with my fury. I snatched up the letter and read it again to confirm I hadn’t imagined it.
“He stole my sister,” I whispered to the empty room, my voice cratering. “He will not steal her life.”
I stood, wiping my face with trembling hands, forcing my breathing to steady.
I knew what I had to do. I’d always known, somehow, that my past would come for me. That this fragile happiness was too precious to last.
Sitting on the cold floor for a long time, I watched the firelight flicker across the walls, every shadow whispering what I was about to lose.
I could stay. I could crawl back into bed, into his arms, and pretend I never saw the letter. Come morning, we’d laugh over breakfast again. He’d kiss me until all I could do was smile.
I could have the life we’d promised each other with each look and stroke of our fingers.
But Addie’s eyes haunted me. The memory of her twirling her skirts out in the foyer, the way she’d always stood up to our father’s wrath when I cowered. The way she’d told me I was stronger than I believed.
She would do what was needed without hesitation.
She already had.
Love didn’t always mean staying. Sometimes it meant walking straight into the dark so they didn’t have to.
When I stepped back into the bedchamber, the sight of Trew nearly broke my resolve. He’d turned, one arm outstretched across the space where I should be, as if he was seeking me even in sleep. His face appeared relaxed, younger somehow without the weight of kingdoms and war pressing down on him. His dark lashes cast shadows across his cheeks in the dying firelight.
I paused, memorizing every line of him. The scar that curved along his collarbone. The way his hair fell across his forehead. The steady rise and fall of his chest. Love swelled in me so powerfully it threatened to bring me to my knees.
“I love you,” I whispered, too softly to wake him. “I would raze the world to keep you safe. And that is why I have to leave you.”
I moved to the edge of the bed, stretching out my hand but stopping above his cheek. I wanted to touch him, to feel his warmth one more time. But if I did, I would never find the strength to go. How could I leave if I touched him now?
And if I didn’t leave, Addie would die.
So I let my fingers drift a hairsbreadth from his skin, tracing his features without contact, an almost-touch that would have to sustain me.
Then I left his room.
Inside my chambers, I sat on the bed and composed a note for him. He’d wake and I’d be gone, and I didn’t want him to think I’d left him.
Trew,
There’s something I have to do, and I’m asking you to trust me while I do it. To wait for me. To still love me when I come back and hold out my arms.
I love you. I’ll always love you.
I promise I’ll return to you soon.
Isi
