It was all I could do not to wince. My back burned as if he’d just taken the lash to it. I’d done what I could to apply soothing balm, but I hadn’t been able to reach the areas in the middle.
And I hadn’t dared ask any of my staff to help. His warning to tell no one about his punishment still rang in my ears.
I thought of Addie, my fierce younger sister with dark curls and a rebellious spirit. How she’d tried to run away before her departure to Velmire, making it as far as the eastern shore before guards caught her trying to bribe a sailor to take her to one of the islands far out to sea. Father locked her in her room for the final week before she left, allowing no visitors except those bringing her meals.
I’d snuck into her room, scaling the castle wall to her balcony with wine stolen from the kitchens tucked into a sack I’d slung over my shoulder. We’d played dice games, drinking until we were silly and singing while sprawled across her bed. She’d cried that last night, her head in my lap as I stroked her dark curls.
“I’ll write as soon as I can,” she’d promised. “I’ll tell you about everything, even the boring parts.”
But it had been nearly five weeks since she’d left for her newhome adjacent to the southern wastelands, and no letter had arrived from her, not even a formal note telling us of her safe arrival. The silence gnawed at my bones.
Father beckoned to someone over my shoulder. “Ah, Commander Thorne. Nice to see you tonight.”
The commander approached with a grace that always reminded me he was more than just another soldier. Tall, with broad shoulders and close-cropped dark hair peppered with gray at the temples, he moved like water over stone. His ceremonial uniform was impeccable, though he wore it with the discomfort of a man more at home in training leathers than formal clothing.
“Your Majesty. Princess.” He bowed, his brown eyes meeting mine. The subtle nod he gave me carried a world of meaning. He’d been my silent ally during our private training sessions for years, teaching me fighting forms a princess had no business learning. He’d even let me out of the castle when I had to run free, only ensuring I was armed and sternly telling me when I should return or he’d come looking for me.
This man was more a father to me than my own.
“Any word on the rebels?” Father asked, his voice casual but his posture tense.
“Nothing substantial, Your Majesty. We’ve tripled the patrols in the southern forest, but—” Thorne hesitated, glancing at me.
“The princess is aware of our concerns,” Father said. “Though perhaps this conversation is better continued elsewhere. After all, this is a celebration.” He smiled, all teeth. “We’ll speak later, Commander.”
Thorne bowed again and stepped back, his expression carefully neutral. As Father turned to greet an approaching nobleman, Thorne caught my eye again, and he gave me a barely perceptible shake of his head. No news of Mae’s son, then.
“If you’ll excuse me, Father,” I said. “I should speak with some of our guests.”
He waved me away, already deep in conversation about trade agreements and shipping vessels.
I moved gingerly through the crowd, trying to ignore the way the gown’s fabric rubbed across my welts, nodding as expected while my thoughts churned like a river after a storm. Ladies complimented my outfit. Lords bent over my hand, their gazes lingering on my figure and the top of my head that would one day wear the Caldrith Court crown.
“Princess Amarissa,” High Lord Alfred said by my left elbow, his smile as practiced as always. “You outshine the torches tonight.”
“Ah, yes, thank you.” I inclined my head. “I trust your family is well?”
“As always, Princess. Would you honor me with a dance? I’ve been practicing specifically in hopes of partnering with you.”
Alfred had been angling for royal favor since we were children, his ambition as transparent as the windows overlooking the gardens. His attention had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my title.
“I’m afraid I’ve promised the next set to Lord Dannet’s son,” I said.
His smile faltered. “Perhaps later, then.”
“Perhaps.”
As he withdrew, I heard him mutter to a companion, “Cold as ever. I bet she’s the same in bed.”
Others would not agree, but he’d never find out. Picky, I only slept with those who wouldn’t talk.
It wasn’t that I disliked attention. I just wanted something real. Something beyond calculated flattery from men who saw only my crown, not the woman underneath it.
I thought about the man from the village square, the one with golden eyes who’d dared to challenge me. Who was he and where had he come from? Would I ever see him again?
There had been nothing calculated in his fury, nothing diplomatic in his condemnation. His arrogance had blazed on his face.Danger swirled around him. He was real in a way that made everyone in this ballroom look like painted puppets.
I could still feel his touch on my arm, could still hear his rich voice. Flames pooled low in my belly, treacherous heat that had no place in a princess’s thoughts.
