He paced in front of me as he spoke, and it was all I could do not to smile, because in this, we were very alike. Movement made it easier for me to think, to compose what I wanted to say. I did my best strategizing while pacing.
“This type of spell is about precision, control, and understanding your opponent’s weaknesses. Nullification relies on grasping how magic works, at its most basic level, in order to unravel it.” He nodded as if solidifying the thought in his mind. “Magic is energy, drawn from within or from the surrounding world. Nullification disrupts that connection. It’s not about brute strength. If Merrick could perform this spell, he would wield it gently, teasing the spell into reversing itself.”
“And Lorant would slam the door on the power itself.”
The smile he shot me… If only I could grab onto it and hold it close forever. Imprint it in my mind and on my heart.
“Look at nullification as severing a thread or snuffing out a candle.” A rock the size of my fist appeared in his hand, telling me he could move objects like Merrick. One squish, and he pulverized it. “The foundation of their spell can be reduced to nothing with the right force.”
Crossing over to the window, he released the dust, watching asthe wind caught it and swept it away. He turned back to face me and continued. “Nullifying magic isn’t about overpowering someone. It’s about collapsing the bridge they used to reach the power. Picture their magic like water rushing through a dam. With nullification, you don’t build a taller dam, you divert the river entirely. If you can stop the flow at its source, it dies on its own. That means sensing it first, reading the magic like the twang on the hilt of a blade when it impacts with the back of a door.” His lips quirked up on one corner. “For instance.”
I sucked in a breath. “You found out about that.”
His low laugh rang out. “It was hard to miss. Had to replace the door, though I'll admit, I was quite impressed with your ability with a blade.”
“I'm slick.” I lit my finger on fire and blew it out, kind of thrilled that I could do this so easily and without scorching myself.
“With nullification, you’ll need to find their magic at its weakest point and pull hard. Then you should feel it unravel.”
I nodded pertly. “How are we going to practice?”
“I’ll create spells, and you’ll try to nullify them. But you're tired. I can see it in your eyes. We can work on this tomorrow night.”
“Tell me how to do it, and I'll try a few times. We don't—” I didn’t need to state that we didn't have much time. But this spell might actually help us.
“It could take years for you to perform even one successful nullification spell. It's not only a rare skill, but it’s also a difficult one to master.”
“There’s only one spell I want to nullify,” I snarled, thinking of the curse. “One that’s?—”
“Some spells cannot be nullified. I told you this.”
“Why not this one?” When he gave a slight shake of his head, I realized I hadn’t phrased it correctly—again. My growlripped out, but I tamped down my anger directed solely at myself. “I’m sorry. Let me ask in a different way. Can the curse be nullified?”
He did not blink.
“Fuck.” I stomped to the window beside him and stared out at the world outside the castle, barely able to take in the wall, the dark forest beyond, and the starlit sky overhead, because my eyes kept blurring. I'd cried bucketfuls of tears for Kinart, and when I ran away from the fortress, I told myself I'd find a way to survive without sobbing all the time. Now, here I was, crying for someone new. Two someones, I supposed, though I truly didn’t see them that way. “I don't know how to reconcile this. How to reconcile you.”
He moved closer, but though he didn't touch, I could feel the warmth of his body. He was alive. Merrick was alive. But for how long? “Me or?—”
From the way he choked off, I knew that he couldn’t finish.
That gutted me even more. Stupid tears trickled down my face, but I would not turn and allow him to see them. “Everything. I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to try to reconcile this. It is what it is. It’s alright to back away, to admit that it’s too much.”
He sounded as gutted as me, and that broke me all over again.
I turned to face him, finding him even closer than I’d believed. I tipped my head back to meet his eyes. “It’s not that at all. I’m not giving up. Never think I will.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m cupping water in my hands. The more I try to hold on, the faster it slips away. I want to believe change is coming, but that belief is as fragile as a breath in winter, vanishing before I can feel its warmth, leaving only a sting in the air where something beautiful used to be.”
“Lorant.” I burst forward, impacting his chest and wrappingmy arms around him. “I’m going to destroy that curse. I swear. Trust me, please.”
He rubbed my back but said nothing, just rested his chin on the top of my head.
Eventually, I tugged away. As much as I wanted to be held and comforted by him and give comfort in return, I needed to work on my magic. If I hoped to have even a scrap a chance of breaking the curse, I suspected I’d do so with power. Perhaps not nullification but with something, maybe a skill I hadn’t yet discovered.
“I’ll take you to your room,” he said.
